Broken Glass
by TimeForWolves
Summary: You always have to take care to tread lightly around broken glass, because if you don't clear it away, people can get hurt. Contains pairings of Jily, Blackinnon and Meadowpin. Mary McDonald, Alice, Frank, Fabian and Gideon Prewett also heavily featured
1. 27th September 1976

**A/N _PLEASE READ_ This is an idea that's been playing on my mind for a while now. I was going to at least finish part one of Will It Ever End before I posted this but there's only 10 more chapters left of that story so I thought I'd get a head start on the next one. **

**Basically, I've played around with the relationships a bit; this fic will be longer and slightly darker than my others which is why I've upped the rating. It wont be too explicit but its better to be safe than sorry. I WILL WARN WHEN A CHAPTER HAS SLIGHTLY TORTUROUS SCENES IN IT so just keep an eye out for that announcement. Other than that, I don't think there's anything else other than "Don't worry, I love blackinnon." Just remember to keep that in mind.**

 **Disclaimer - THIS IS NOT MINE! EXCEPT MAYBE PARTS OF THE PLOT... AND THE ODD CHARACTER...BUT APART FROM THAT IT'S ALL JO'S Xx**

 **Song Lyrics: Broken Glass - Jack Savoretti**

 **Broken Glass**

Chapter One: 27th August 1976

 _"Broken glass on the floor by my bed,_

 _Lying next to books_

 _I've never even read."_

Lily sat in Marlene's back garden, breathing in the smell of freshly cut grass and cooking food in the evening warmth. The sun was beginning to dip lower towards the horizon but the air was humid, just the occasional breeze to cool the five girls all hanging around the smoking BBQ.

Lily's long red hair hung down over the back of her chair and the book she had been reading was lying on her lap, her fingers lodged between the pages marking her progress.

"I've got burgers, sausages and bread," Marlene stood over the barbeque wielding a long pronged fork dangerously. Her blonde curls were pulled back from her freckled face in a ponytail and she wore a light blue checked shirt which matched her blue eyes perfectly. She grinned at them all, showing the dimples in her cheeks and waved the threatening instrument in the air happily. "Ladies, would you place your orders?"

"Shotgun the burger," Dorcas Meadowes said instantly. She sat up straight as Marlene handed her a paper plate and pulled her brown hair over one shoulder before turning and adding "pass the bread, Al."

Alice Prewett, the smallest member of their group with a pixie face and short, spiky hair chucked a bun at her friend with surprisingly good aim. It hit Dorcas in the face and everyone except Lily snorted with laughter.

Mary McDonald, tall and sarcastic, with cropped, wavy strawberry blonde hair looked up at Marlene. "I'll take the sausage," she said with just the tiniest hint of suggestiveness to her voice. "With extra sauce," she added, waggling her eyebrows.

Marlene laughed and squirted way too much sauce over the two sausages. "You can always go back for seconds," she told Mary who winked back. Marlene then spun to face Lily, "what do you fancy Red?"

"Burger would be nice thank you," Lily said quietly.

Marlene sent her an encouraging smile as she handed her the plate. Lily was grateful for the kindness Marlene had shown her these past few weeks because she still didn't feel completely at ease with the other Gryffindor sixth year girls. This was mainly due to the fact that she'd always devoted all her time to hanging out with Severus before now. It had been nearly two months since their last conversation outside the Fat Lady's portrait in June and Lily had found herself faced with the task of having to form stronger bonds with the girls or risk spending the last two years of Hogwarts alone. Not that she was reluctant to do so; it was refreshing to have some female company and it was much more fun than hanging out with Severus had been but it was daunting still, even after spending the majority of the holidays with them, to enter on this group of fully formed friendships so late in the game because she'd never made the effort before. Before her, the dynamics had been obvious to everyone; Marlene and Mary were as close as sisters and did nearly everything together – they even dated the Prewett twins Fabian and Gideon. Dorcas and Alice were the other pair; they were the complete opposite of each other but seemed to click. Lily was plainly the outsider but they had accepted her graciously with Marlene's encouraging.

"You know, I'm actually looking forward to going back to school," Marlene mused as she finished off her food and chucked the paper plate onto the table. "If anything, just to go back to eating that amazing food those legendary house-elves cook up."

"I was under the impression it was so you could see that hot boyfriend of yours," Dorcas said bluntly. "When did they get back from Brazil?"

At the mention of Fabian, Marlene shifted uncomfortably in her seat but her face remained easy as she said, "they get back tomorrow."

Dorcas sighed wistfully and shook her head, not seeming to have noticed the change in Marlene's demeanour. "I don't know how you two snapped them up so quickly; they're nearly on the same level as Black."

Lily definitely noticed Marlene's lips thin this time. "Sirius Black is arrogant, which instantly makes him lower down than Fabian."

Dorcas blinked and raised her hands in surrender, "okay, okay, I was just making a point."

"Have you heard from James at all this summer?" Alice said, quickly changing the subject.

Marlene paused, still frowning. "A bit," she said finally. "He's been quite quiet this summer, although he's written loads to Red, hasn't he?"

Lily sighed in exasperation. True enough, she'd received many letters from her unwanted admirer. She had even replied to a couple, hoping he might be satisfied and grow bored but no, of course that had only fuelled him in his conquest. Out loud, she just said "Potter doesn't seem to understand the meaning of 'leave well alone'."

"Of course he doesn't!" Mary laughed. "He always seems to get exactly what he wants...well, except you, that is." She shot a look at Lily who shrugged, grimacing.

"I bet he's Quidditch Captain this year," Alice stated confidently.

"He is," both Marlene and Lily said at the same time.

Everyone except Marlene looked at Lily with raised eyebrows, obviously inquiring to know how Lily had heard this information.

Lily shrugged uncomfortably, "It was in one of his letters to me – I don't know, the information must have stuck somehow."

"What other revelation do you have for us?" Dorcas asked curiously but Lily could tell she was being mocked slightly.

"Nothing –"

"Tell them Lily," Marlene said seriously, actually using her proper name other than 'Red' – which was what she'd been calling Lily all summer.

Lily sighed heavily and looked at everyone's intrigued faces. "I'm going to try to be nice to Potter this year."

Now all the stares turned incredulous.

"James Potter?" Alice asked slowly as if trying to affirm it. "You're going to be _nice_ to James Potter?"

Lily nodded, trying to look more confident than she actually felt. She didn't want to tell them the real reason she'd decided this. The girls often hung around with the marauders – they were in the same year, same house. Marlene and Potter had known each other practically all their lives and considered each other family and Lily had also heard that Dorcas had been corresponding with Remus Lupin, one of the four. In order to fit in properly, Lily needed to make an attempt to not get irritated by their ringleader. She hoped this would be a slightly easier feat considering she was no longer friends with Severus, but she still expected it to be a challenge.

"Alright," Dorcas said, exchanging a look with Alice. "If you're sure about it, what harm comes from trying, right?"

"Exactly," Marlene said encouragingly. "I think it's really good that you're going to try and be the bigger person in this...little feud."

"I don't think it's ever been 'little', Mars," Mary said humorously.

"I was paraphrasing!" Marlene shot back, sending her friend a look that clearly said she wasn't being helpful.

That was when their party was crashed by two unwelcome visitors.

 _"Wide awake in this mess that I've made_

 _Everything I've taken,_

 _You're the one who paid."_

James could honestly say he had no intention of crashing Marlene's evening barbeque party until Sirius had nagged him into it. The thought of what Marlene might do to him if she was unhappy with their arrival kept him arguing his point for a good twenty minutes but eventually he gave in, knowing that Sirius was never going to back down and that his best mate was in need of constant distractions after he'd turned up on James's doorstep at the beginning of summer, beaten and bruised. He'd already bought a motorbike and had disappeared for days on end and James was not keen to repeat that phase. A distraction in the form of Marlene McKinnon's endless bickering was what Sirius appeared to need, so that's how he found himself outside Marlene's front door.

"Maybe we shouldn't, Pads," he said cautiously, stopping Sirius from knocking on the door.

Sirius snorted and pulled his arm from James's grip. "Don't be such a pussy, Prongs – McKinnon will love it. Plus a little birdie told me Evans is in there." He reached up and rapped his knuckles against the red-painted wood before James could protest.

The door opened and Nathaniel McKinnon stood on the threshold, looking down at them with his usual disapproving face that James knew was directed mostly at Sirius. Marlene's older brother was a year above them in Ravenclaw. He was very similar to Marlene in looks, less so in character. Both had golden curls and shockingly blue eyes with round faces covered in freckles. However, based on personality, James knew Marlene would always top Nathan. She was bubbly and open whereas Nathan was the ideal Ravenclaw; studious and not very witty.

"Black, Potter," he greeted them cautiously. "Marlene's got friends over so –"

"Yes, that'll be us," Sirius interrupted, sidestepping Nathan into the house, ignoring the older boy's protests and heading for the glass doors that led to the back garden.

Unwilling to be left alone with an angry Nath who was grinding his teeth so hard, James could actually hear them, he sent him an apologetic look and hurried after Sirius, towards the smell of burgers.

"For fuck's sake!" Marlene was already annoyed by the time he got there. She was standing in front of Sirius and brandishing a large and dangerous looking utensil inches from his face although he looked not the least bit intimidated and was smirking at her. "Why are you two here?"

James shot her a sheepish grin, "surprise!" he said weakly.

Marlene huffed loudly and turned away, gesturing towards the leftover food. "I guess you're hungry," she said grudgingly. "Help yourselves, we're done eating."

Sirius grinned triumphantly and sprang towards the food, exclaiming happily "and that is why I love you McKinnon!"

Marlene shot him a scowl, "whatever Black."

"Don't let her boyfriend hear you say that," Mary added quietly.

James, who hadn't thought much of this comment, was surprised to see Sirius shoot a glare in Mary's direction and even more when Marlene shuffled her feet uncomfortably, almost like she was finding the situation very awkward. James pursed his lips and said nothing. Whatever problems Marlene and Fabian were having, James was staying far out of it. He just hoped Sirius had the same sense to do so as well. Relationships could get real messy when a third party got involved.

In the meantime however, James got slightly side-tracked as he caught sight of a flash of fiery-red hair that he knew instantly belonged to Lily Evans. Without a second glance, he left Sirius to go and throw himself into what appeared to be Marlene's empty chair (located conveniently close to Lily's). "Evening Evans," he started. There, that was polite enough. Hostilities this early in the game were rare so he wasn't surprised when she glanced up at him and nodded. He was shocked however, when she folded down the corner of her page, closed her book and said pleasantly, "hello Potter."

James gaped in astonishment for so long that Lily actually giggled. She _giggled_... at him? James tried to ground his mind slightly by listening to Sirius who had started up a debate with Dorcas about the possibility that Dumbledore wore socks and sandals under his robes or just walked around barefoot. Sirius was convinced that their headmaster was secretly part of the hippie "flower power" movement that was gripping the Wizarding world.

"You know, that comes from Muggles," Lily mused. Apparently she'd also been listening. "That fashion died out in the early 70s. Wizards have only just caught on."

James wasn't sure why, but that statement made him laugh. When Lily frowned at him, obviously thinking that he was laughing at her, he shook his head. "We always think ourselves so superior to Muggles and yet, Muggles can think up things like that – it's hilarious."

Lily smiled. It was a very small smile and it was still wary but James could see that she was starting to relax. It was like June had never happened. James smiled back, satisfied that she seemed to be warming up to him now that Snivellus was out of her life. He settled down in his seat to watch Sirius who was fighting a losing battle with Dorcas and Alice. Marlene was chatting with Mary, occasionally sending distracted glances towards her arguing friends. Lily had returned to her book in silence which James found very comfortable. He wished that Remus and Pete were here as well but Pete was on a family holiday in Australia and Remus had been dragged into visiting his aunt with his mother.

Sirius, he was pleased to see, had found a distraction in the form of Dumbledore's socks (or lack of).

"What's the bet that he'll be wearing a flowery hat at the feast?" Sirius asked, leaning back on his hands and surveying Dorcas from his spot on the grass, daring her to rise to the challenge.

He needn't have worried; Dorcas was a true Gryffindor and jumped to take the bet instantly. "I bet you five Galleons he isn't," she said without hesitation.

They shook hands, much to James's amusement. He thought it would be hilarious if Dumbledore turned up to the feast in a complete flower getup. He also had an idea that his headmaster was coming to his house in a few days to see his father. James's mind was already whirring with possible ideas of how he might intercept Dumbledore and ask him a favour.

 _"Forget what I have done,_

 _Sometimes I've lost you,_

 _Sometimes I've won."_

Marlene made her way into the parlour for some Butterbeer. They had decided to have a small party since they were there and it was the end of the holidays.

She was rummaging around in the cupboard, searching for the stash of Butterbeer bottles there, also hoping she might come across a bottle of Firewhiskey while she was at it when arms snaked around her waist and lips were pressed to the pressure point in the side of her neck.

Marlene instantly knew who it was from the smell of cigarette smoke and aftershave. Fabian didn't smoke. She spun around and gave Sirius a light shove backwards that didn't do much to push him away.

"What the hell are you thinking?" she hissed at him, eyes darting around the room nervously but there was no one there that she could see.

Sirius shrugged, a mischievous look entering his eyes that Marlene didn't like at all. "I wasn't really," he grinned and moved towards her, too fast for her to stop him and captured her lips with his.

Marlene shoved him again, harder this time and glared at him. "You need to stop doing this Black – we need to stop."

A frown creased Sirius's forehead. "Why?"

"I have a boyfriend!" Marlene hissed loudly, "a boyfriend who is coming back from holiday _tomorrow_! We need to stop this –" she indicated the small space between them, "– whatever this is, it's not fair on anyone; me, you and especially not Fabian."

Sirius narrowed his eyes, apparently cottoning on to where the conversation was going. "You keep saying that Marlene, and this keeps happening. There's obviously more problems with your relationship than you want to admit."

"Stop talking!" Marlene snapped, raising a hand. "Mary is already suspicious and if she says anything to Gideon then it'll be me that's dragged through the dirt Sirius, not you." She looked down at the floor and added quietly, "and besides, I don't want to hurt him."

"You do that all the time Marlene!" Sirius snapped, cutting her off and looking angry. "You've been doing it all summer, even if he doesn't know it – it doesn't matter, the damage is already done. If you really don't want to hurt him, end it now –"

"Don't you dare presume to tell me anything about relationships Sirius, it's not like you're an expert on the subject."

There was a stunned silence where Marlene looked up at Sirius, suddenly wondering if she'd crossed some sort of line. Then, as she watched, something in his eyes switched and pushed her against the wall, none too gently, and crashed his lips down on hers.

Marlene could've said she tried to push him away but that would've been a lie. In truth she did give him one feeble push, momentarily worried that someone might walk in and see them. Sirius however bit down on her bottom lip, making her gasp in shock and allow his tongue entry to her mouth. In an instant, she'd forgotten about Fabian and the disgrace kissing Sirius Black could bring down on her and she let herself get swallowed up in the fire and passion and the raw need of him.

In the end, it was him that eventually broke the kiss and moved a step away. He caught her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes as he said firmly, "look at me Marlene, and tell me he makes you feel like that."

Marlene stared at him for a long moment as reality came crashing back and with it, her reasons for staying away from Sirius. She couldn't tell him the truth and risk whatever might come of her saying the words out loud. So she lied. "He does," she said quietly, trying to sound confident.

Sirius's hand dropped to his side instantly but he looked down at her and smiled and there was no trace of surrender in his face, if anything, he looked more determined. "You're lying," he said confidently. The words would've sounded childish except for the basic fact that she knew he was right. Of course, Marlene couldn't tell him that, so she just watched him leave.

After he'd gone, Marlene slid down the wall to sit on the floor and try to pull herself together but her mind was whirling out of control.

Fabian was her boyfriend; he was kind and gentle and a place she could to when everything was getting her down but he wasn't perfect – she didn't expect him to be either.

Sirius on the other hand was damaged goods; he was fire and ice, full of fight and passion and he made her knees feel weak. Could someone love more than one person? Marlene shook her head to clear that absurd thought; she didn't love Sirius, he just made her feel alive. But he also made her feel alone. She wasn't sure if she loved Fabian either – he was comfort and safety but a part of her strived for the wildness of Sirius Black. Marlene just didn't know how strong that side was.

The doorbell rang and Marlene was faced with the prospect of having to go and answer it. Especially after Nathan yelled down the stairs, "I'm not getting that!"

Marlene glared towards the top of the staircase where she could just make out her brother's shadow on the landing. Realising he wasn't going to budge on the matter of who answered the door, she made a rude hand gesture towards his general direction. It might have been childish but it made her feel better.

Sliding back the latch, Marlene pulled the door wide and stared in shock at the two people standing on her doorstep.

"Surprise!" Fabian and Gideon said in unison.

Marlene gaped, "what are you doing here?"

"Jeeze, don't look so pleased to see us!" Gideon scoffed, "is Mary out back – cool, I'll see you in a bit." He disappeared, leaving Marlene with her boyfriend.

"So when did you get back?" Marlene started cautiously.

Fabian ignored the wariness of her tone and pulled her into a hug, "This morning, we thought we'd come and surprise you."

"Well consider me surprised!" Marlene laughed and relaxed into the hug. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed Fabian over the summer. He'd been in South America all holidays and she hadn't seen him in a month. "I've missed you," she said quietly into his shoulder.

Fabian grinned and kissed her briefly but affectionately. "And I missed you Marley," he said. "You'll have to catch me up on everything that's happened."

Marlene didn't answer this. There was so much that had changed since she'd last seen him, she didn't know if she would know where to start. "Well," she started slowly as they started walking towards the back entrance to the garden. "Dad left..."

Fabian paused to shoot her a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry," he said. "That sucks, but maybe it's for the best."

Marlene was silent. He really didn't know anything.

 _"Just let me do_

 _Everything I can_

 _Cause everything I do is for you."_

The day really wasn't shaping out the way he wanted, Sirius pondered as he sat and brooded in his chair. Not only had the twins arrived a day early, they had come straight here. Sirius had assumed he'd get one more day, one more day of breaking the rules he'd set up for himself. Top of that list had always been; _don't have any romantic attachments to any of the Gryffindor girls, it will only get awkward later on_. Looks like that hadn't lasted particularly long but Sirius found that he didn't care anymore. Marlene was lying to him, she was lying to herself and that frustrated him more than he'd ever care to admit. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when he'd started to notice Marlene more but he could name the exact moment when they'd started their little fling – after his parents had thrown him out, he'd turned up at James's house and Marlene had been staying there for a few days to get away from her parents who were going through a fairly violent divorce. Fabian had been away on holiday and Marlene, it seemed, had needed someone just as much as Sirius had.

It was now over a month later and Sirius couldn't help finding excuses to bump into her again and again. Nothing she said seemed to sway him, in fact, it did the opposite. The more she insisted they needed to stay away from each other, the more they seemed to run into each other and it always ended the same way.

In need of a distraction, Sirius decided to tease Dorcas, who was currently staring at Mary and Gideon who were engaging in a very affectionate reunion.

"Missing Remus are we, Meadowes?" he jibbed lightly, trying to get a reaction out of her.

She just shot him a dirty look as Alice chuckled. Dorcas was way too superior to let Sirius see anything beside the turn of her lip in disgust. Sirius was perfectly comfortable in their mutual mistrust and dislike of each other. She put up with him because she had to and he put up with her because she was a Gryffindor and that made her worthy in the eyes of the marauders. He didn't have to like her. Remus on the other hand seemed to like her, based on the fact that he'd been in constant correspondence with her all summer. They had only found out who the endless stream of letters was to because Peter had stolen one before Remus could post it and had promptly dropped it in shock upon seeing who it was addressed to. Sirius sighed. He wished the other two marauders were here, it wouldn't feel like such a couple's fest if they were. Even if Remus paired off with Dorcas (the traitor) Sirius would still have Pete.

To take his mind of yet another thing – the idea of couples was depressing – Sirius turned to Alice, the only person here whose other half wasn't with them. He liked Alice, respected her even. She was small but ferocious enough that she'd managed to keep the marauders on their toes for a long time. She was also the Prewett twin's cousin and that afforded her a status in Hogwarts that Sirius could sympathize with. He hated the feeling of having to live up to other people's expectations but Alice had done pretty well for herself. "So Prewett, is Meadowes secretly dating our friend Moony?"

Alice laughed. "I wouldn't tell you even if I knew."

"That just means yes," Sirius said triumphantly. "I never thought he'd be your type Dorky, he's a bit too... you know, sensitive?"

Dorcas snorted in an unattractive way. "I wouldn't expect you to get it Black; it's not exactly your strong point is it?"

Sirius threw his hands up in the air, "and here it is again! Sirius doesn't know two things about relationships so he won't understand!"

"You said it, not me," Dorcas smirked, appearing satisfied that shed ousted him. However, Sirius was not one to back own without a fight.

"I might not know much about relationships Meadowes, but I know quite a bit about our dear friend Moony."

Dorcas pursed her lips and Sirius knew he'd won as soon as she muttered "stuff you, Black." Once insults were exchanged, it was usually the end of the argument with her.

"That wasn't nice," Alice muttered to him as Dorcas shot one last glare in Sirius's direction before going to join Marlene, who to Sirius's delight was looking a bit miffed at being left alone with Fabian.

Sirius glanced back at her before shrugging. He'd never cared to save Dorcas's feelings before, he didn't know why he should now. She was tough. Tougher than most girls he knew.

"She does actually like him, you know," Alice said quietly. "So don't be too harsh. It's a bit of a touchy subject at the moment."

"Why?" Sirius frowned, puzzled. Last time he'd seen Remus; his friend had been pretty pleased with how things were going.

Alice looked around and lowered her voice even more. "Well it was all going well as far as I heard, the last week they met up and he was all funny with her. That sort of thing can be really upsetting and it's got to her."

Sirius grimaced. He should've guessed this would happen at some point. Remus would get cold feet and guilty about his many secrets he was keeping and things would go downhill from there, it was a familiar pattern that Sirius had seen his friend go through more than once.

Alice seemed to sense that he knew more than he was letting on but she just pursed her lips and said warningly. "If you say anything to anyone, I'll personally hunt you down, you got me?"

Despite her height, Alice was intimidating. Sirius nodded, agreeing not to breathe a word of their conversation to anyone, especially not Remus. Sirius thought he might mention something to his mate though, just to push him in the right direction. After all, this was Dorcas Meadowes they were talking about here and while she might not be Sirius's type, she was probably more than Remus would ever dream of getting.

 **So yeah, I will be doing a 5 review before next chapter thing but I thought I'd get the first couple up before I got serious about that. I hope you've all enjoyed and if you do review, know they'll be up significantly faster! :)**


	2. 1st September 1976

**Soooo here's the next chapter, hope you all enjoy... This chapter is focused more on the characters that aren't so main (so not James, Lily, Sirius or Marlene) but don't worry, you'll get them back next chapter :)**

 **Disclaimer - THIS IS NOT MINE! EXCEPT MAYBE PARTS OF THE PLOT... AND THE ODD CHARACTER...BUT APART FROM THAT IT'S ALL JO'S Xx**

 **Song Lyrics: Heal Over by KT Tunstall**

 **Broken Glass**

Chapter Two: 1st September 1976

 _"It isn't very difficult to see why_

 _You are the way you are."_

Much to Nathan's annoyance, Marlene disappeared into the crowds almost as soon as they hit Platform 9 ¾, barely even saying goodbye to their mother before she'd vanished. Nathan frowned after her retreating back but his mother's hand on his arm stopped him going after her.

"Leave her, Nath – she's dealing with everything in her own way."

Nathan refrained from snorting. He didn't think that going off the rails and having a secret affair with Sirius Black could specifically count as 'dealing with it' but he didn't tell his mother that. Marlene thought that nobody knew about her little midnight flings with the disowned Black boy but she must have thought he was stupid not to notice that there was someone sneaking in and out of the house at night. He would've assumed it was Fabian but he knew that the Prewett's were away on holiday. That and the fact he'd rigged up secret cameras at all the ground floor entrances, just in case their asshole of a father tried to sneak back in and do something stupid like rob the house. Sometimes Nathan wondered at the technology the Muggles could think up.

"Make sure you write," Annie McKinnon said gently, "and keep an eye on your sister, you know what she's like." Her tone wasn't exasperated, nor was it unkind, it just sounded tired.

Nathan nodded and pulled her close for a tight hug, just like he'd done since he was eleven. "Bye mum, make sure you look after yourself."

She squeezed him and kissed his cheek. "I will, good luck Nath, I love you."

Nathan hesitated as he drew back to look at her and was shocked at how drained she appeared. Their father's absence had affected her more than she'd let on and it showed in that instant. He was about to open his mouth to speak some word of comfort but before he could, the whistle on the train blew and the moment was lost and Nathan had no more opportunity as he was ushered towards the train and his mother's face was obscured in the steam from the train.

He sighed as the train began to move and turned away, he did not want to see his mother disappear. He walked along the corridor, peering into compartments, trying to find his friends. He spotted Marlene and her girlfriends sitting in a compartment and he passed the marauders in the corridor. He nodded to James but didn't say anything. Nathan didn't have much to do with Marlene's friends in school and they both liked to keep it that way.

Finally, he located his friends at the end of the carriage. He let himself in and greeted them all while he stored his luggage in the rack.

Nathan had three friends in his year and they were all in Ravenclaw with him. They had all discovered early on that people from other house, while they were friendly enough; found it difficult to be around Ravenclaws all the time. That was excluding the Hufflepuffs and their intellect just wasn't up to the same standard as Nathan and his friends.

"Is it just me or are there an unusual amount of first years this year?" Daniel Jenkins, a mousy haired boy with a round face and glasses, was saying as he frowned into the corridor, which indeed, Nathan noticed, was bustling with scared-looking first years.

Isabelle Seaworth who was tall with brown hair and eyes that matched flicked the page of her newspaper idly and said, "I heard there's more muggleborns in this year's lot than in recorded history at Hogwarts."

Daniel scoffed, "since when do you listen to rumour?"

"It's not rumour!" Issy shot back. "Slughorn is a friend of my mum's and he told her."

"Poor buggers," Nathan said quietly. "Imagine finding out about our world then that some fanatics are waging war on their kind."

That brought about a solemn silence. Issy looked disapprovingly at him and Daniel bit his lip. His other companion, Zoey Thompson, shook her head, her curly ginger hair shaking out. "I hoped we could refrain from talking about the war."

"But surely you can see that it's important, its current affairs, Zo," Nathan insisted, wondering in hindsight whether it was a wise decision to be arguing about this.

"My parents are having little to do with it," Issy said, disappearing behind her newspaper again. "The whole idea of a war is ridiculous to them."

Zoey was staring at Nathan with a very strange expression. "You aren't thinking of getting involved in this are you Nath?" she asked slowly. "Because it sounds as though you are."

Slightly shocked at the direction the conversation had taken, Nathan looked around at all his friends who were staring at him, waiting for him to answer. Issy had lowered her newspaper and Daniel was looking at him with anxious eyes behind his glasses.

"I – no," he said, stumbling for words a little. "I don't want to get into their affairs."

"Good," Issy was still looking at him over the top of her paper. "Because you're smarter than that Nath, let them squabble amongst themselves."

Nathan didn't say anything to that. The McKinnons were a family of purebloods that dated back to a similar time as the Potters and were fairly respected within the wizarding community. Nathan did often wonder how long that status would last; the Potters were becoming less and less part of the inner circles and the Blacks had just recently disowned their most rebellious son, naming him a blood-traitor. Not that Nathan's family wanted anything to do with the darker pureblood families such as the Blacks but it was constantly made complicated by Marlene. Nathan knew the longer his little sister surrounded herself with people like that, the quicker it would be for their family to go the same way as the Potters were going; shunned by high wizarding classes. Not that he could do anything to stop her, she was wilful and dangerous when it came to protecting those she loved so Nathan knew when it was time, she would become as much a part of this war as anyone, especially now her new and sudden friendship with muggleborn Lily Evans had become public. He often wondered if Marlene wanted to drag their name through the dirt. She was spending far too much time with Sirius Black...

"I'll try and stay out of it," Nathan said out loud to his friends. "I don't want to get involved if I can help it."

At the end of the day, Marlene was the Gryffindor in their family and it was Gryffindors, not Ravenclaws that were renowned for their bravery.

 _"Doesn't take a genius to realise_

 _That sometimes life is hard."_

The funny thing about a reflection is that it shows you your image but it's flipped, so you're actually looking at the opposite to what's really there and yet, it looks right, like what's in front of you has to be the real thing. That is of course, until you hold something of sense up to it – like numbers or letters, then everything is backwards and you know you're looking at a reflection. Just a reflection.

Remus Lupin traced the scars across his face as he stared at himself looking calmly back at him from the window, blackened out by the night and heavy rain and he sat, lost in thought.

"What are you looking so thoughtful about Moony? I sincerely hope it's about our next prank and not Dorcas Meadowes."

Remus turned to stare at Sirius incredulously. "Will you please just drop that?"

"No," Sirius said stubbornly. "I will not drop it until you talk to her."

Remus scowled and turned away to glare at the door instead, "I still don't see why you're all interested in my relationships suddenly."

"Because it's Dorcas fucking Meadowes!" Sirius looked ready to tear his hair out in exasperation. "You will not get a better chance at a girl this good looking for the rest of your life; you aren't allowed to mess this up."

Remus turned back to him, "You're such a hypocrite Padfoot, why don't you stop complaining at get yourself a girlfriend."

"Second that," James said from where he'd been keeping a low profile. "You do over-exaggerate things a little bit Pads, Remus could easily get someone else if Meadowes isn't his type."

Sirius spluttered for a moment and Remus shrugged, "I'm not saying she's not my type," he informed them.

"I don't need a girlfriend," Sirius insisted, dragging them back to before, as if Remus hadn't said anything. "I'm a lone free ranger; I'm a single pringle and ready to min –"

"If you finish that sentence, I'll chunder," Peter warned him quickly.

"Fine," Sirius said. "But my point still stands; girls require emotional attachments and commitments and all that bollocks. I don't want to limit myself."

"And my point still stand; you're a hypocrite," Remus snapped. "Why should I have to 'limit myself', as you say?"

"Because Dorcas Meadowes is one of the most sought after girls in Hogwarts, and she likes you Moons, she really does." Sirius voice grew quieter and he frowned. For a moment, Remus wondered if he was going to say something important but he just shrugged, "Merlin knows why," and Remus sighed.

He wondered how much Sirius had changed over the summer, he had a feeling it was much more than he could see on the outside. It was buried deep and Remus would have to wait to find out.

"We should go and find the girls," James said. "Lily will be with them and I need to talk to Marlene about something."

"What do you need to talk to her about?" Sirius's tone was only slightly layered with curiosity. The rest appeared horrified at the prospect of going on a Lily hunt.

James shrugged, "not a lot," he said casually. "I just want to observe her and Fabian, she's been weird about him recently and I want to see if they're alright."

Remus frowned at that. Marlene and Fabian were like two sides of the same coin. They were the sort of couple that you couldn't see having problems, but, he supposed every relationship must have problems under the surface.

Sirius had leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, "well they looked fine to me the other day, I really want to go and watch them sucking face, it's on my bucket list, just below spending a weekend with Snivellus."

James snorted and sat back down again, "fine. I guess we'll see them at dinner."

"We've got food here anyway," Peter added. "I don't want to leave it unguarded."

James sighed in defeat and Remus relaxed, confident that they were staying in their safe place. That didn't last long though.

"What were you saying before Moons, about Dorcas?" James asked, looking at him curiously.

Remus sighed and shook his head. "I dunno mate, it's complicated."

Sirius snorted and Peter shushed him by throwing a pumpkin pasty at his head, which seemed to work nicely.

"How complicated are we talking here?" James frowned. "Does she know about...y'know?"

"No," Remus hastened to say. He wasn't that stupid. "It's just that I...I don't know if I'm ready yet."

He had thought that one of them would laugh at him, but he should've known them better than to think that.

James was nodding wisely, Peter chewing thoughtfully as he processed Remus's words and Sirius was sitting up straight in his seat and frowning.

"I think that's understandable," James said slowly.

"But have you told her that?" Peter asked.

Remus shrugged, "sort of, I guess. How do you tell someone that though?"

"Like you've just told us," Sirius said. "It's difficult, I know."

Remus was about to ask how Sirius claimed to know something like that when he'd never been put in any situation even remotely similar, and maybe to comment a bit more on his hypocrisy when the door crashed open and Mary McDonald was revealed in the doorway, hair ruffled and breathing fast like she'd just run a mile.

James jumped up at the sight of her. "What is it?"

"Have you seen Puddles?" Mary gasped between deep breaths, trying to get the air back into her lungs.

"Who?" Peter asked, bewildered.

"Marlene's new cat, she's already gone and lost him!" Mary scowled like she already hated this cat for making her search the train.

"Haven't seen him," James said.

"What sort of name is ' _Puddles_ '? Sirius asked.

Mary shook her head, still slightly out of breath. "Don't ask Black, you don't want to know."

Remus laughed at the expression on Sirius's face. It was torn between disgust and amusement.

 _"It's gonna take time_

 _But you just have to wait."_

Mary returned to the carriage with a struggling, yowling black and white tomcat in her outstretched arms, twenty minutes before the train was supposed to reach Hogsmead. Marlene instantly stood up, her arms open and Mary gladly dunked the mental cat onto her friend, meanwhile turning her attention to the state of her robes.

"I'm a mess!" she wailed sadly, staring at her torn sleeves and tie. The cat had been on top of a rack in the compartment of a group of second years who hadn't really helped her in trying to coax the cat down.

"That's alright," Lily said, flicking her wand towards Mary and fixing her robes so they looked brand new.

Mary offered the redhead one of her genuine smiles. "Cheers Red, maybe we will keep you around for a bit."

Lily smiled and returned to her book. She was still a bit shy but Mary could see her slowly getting more confident that they wanted to be friends with her, and they weren't just putting up with her because Marlene had asked them to.

Gideon was still out looking for the damn cat so Mary settled herself down next to Alice and grabbed a magazine.

She stayed absorbed in an article about shield charms for the rest of the journey to the station. When the train slowed to a halt, she looked up and saw that Fabian had joined them. He was getting the luggage down from the rack and passing it to Dorcas because Marlene was busy trying to put her cat into the cat cage to help.

"Where's Gid?" Mary asked as she located her own things and separated them from the rest. Her owl cage containing her tawny owl Gerrick was balanced on top of her trunk and she cursed slightly as she spotted the rain, still plummeting across the sky in sheets.

"He's here somewhere," Fabian said, passing Marlene her trunk. Marlene left then, saying she needed to get Puddles under cover as soon as possible but Mary knew she wanted to go up to the castle with James. They had done so ever since they were eleven and even though Marlene would never admit it, it was a tradition they both kept.

Mary sighed but followed the rest of them out of the compartment and towards the nearest exit. Fabian led the way through crowds of people bustling about trying to get coats on before they were shoved outside by the ones behind them. Mary strained to look over the heads for Gideon but she didn't see him until he came out of nowhere to fall into step beside her. "You caught that cat then?" he said, grabbing her hand so he wouldn't lose her in the crowds.

"Thank Merlin we did or we'd still be looking for it now," Mary said, shaking her head and moving towards her boyfriend to shelter from some of the wind and rain.

Gideon laughed, "McKinnon's certainly got some fierceness in her, you better watch out mate," he warned Fabian jokingly.

Fabian turned around and grinned, "yeah, yeah, mind your own business you wanker."

"Don't want any competition now," Gideon teased.

Fabian turned so he was walking backwards. "I think I can handle some heathy competition from Puddles," he laughed as he said it.

Mary bit her lip, wincing at his words but managing to keep a smile on her face. He had no idea what she knew, of course he didn't. For the second time in her life, Mary felt ashamed at Marlene for leading him on, Fabian was just such a decent person and Sirius...well, Sirius was Sirius and not good for her best friend. The sooner Marlene's little wobble with her relationship was over, the better. The secret was safe with her.

"You alright Mare?" Alice asked as they all piled into a carriage headed up to the school. "You look a bit pale."

"I'm fine," Mary insisted as Gideon turned to look at her, having heard Alice's words. "I'm just exhausted; I'll be alright in the morning."

"Where did Marlene go?" Lily asked the space at large. "Wasn't she supposed to wait for us?"

"She always goes up to the castle with James and the other marauders," Dorcas said. "It's what she does every year." She peered out of the door, squinting through the rain. "There they are, getting into the carriage over there."

Mary peered through the rain and distantly saw Marlene's blonde hair disappearing into a carriage. She turned back just in time to see Lily frowning at Fabian thoughtfully. Mary knew what she was thinking, she'd thought it herself before; ' _why doesn't Marlene want to go up to the school with her boyfriend?_ ' the answer was as unclear as pretty much everything concerning Marlene.

 _"You're gonna be fine_

 _But in the meantime"_

"Mate, I almost forgot to mention to you, I got you an early birthday present," James was saying quietly as they made their way into the Great Hall.

"What?" Sirius frowned.

Peter turned to look at James in confusion. They were supposed to go shopping together for birthdays; James, it appeared had seen something different.

"Prongs, his birthday isn't until Novem...what on earth?" Remus trailed off in fascinated horror as he stared up at the teacher's table.

Peter didn't have to strain to see what they were talking about and he instantly let out a wave of laughter at the sight. Sitting in the headmaster's chair at the top table was someone who surely couldn't be their professor. The impostor was wearing flowers, from head to foot. His green robes were covered in them and he had a purple hat that was also decorated with the same patterns. Underneath the hat was the smiling face of Albus Dumbledore.

"Oh Merlin," Sirius breathed, "how did you...?" his face cleared and he spun around, searching the hall, an expression of pure triumph on his face. "Meadowes! You owe me five galleons!"

"How on earth did you pull that off?" Peter hissed to James in awe as Sirius ran off towards the group of girls who had just entered the Great Hall.

James tapped the side of his nose mysteriously, "Ah Wormtail, if I told you, I'd have to kill you."

"Jay, I thought you said that the marauders told each other everything," Marlene commented. She had come in with them like she did every year, this time clutching a cat basket that was making loud angry noises. Peter kept well clear of that basket, he didn't like cats at all and Remus seemed of the same mind as he eyed it warily.

"Alright, I bumped into him when he was over at my house meeting with dad and told him it would be a laugh," James chuckled at his own wit and Peter laughed along with him.

"I would've have expected him to do it all though," James added, staring up at their professor who looked down at them and winked behind his half-moon spectacles.

Peter had to applaud James's humour; it really was very funny seeing the look on Dorcas's face.

"That was cheating," Marlene murmured as she sat down next to Lily.

"It wasn't!" James protested. "It was taking initiative."

Peter was starting to laugh when Marlene said loudly, "what's this we hear about a girlfriend, Pete? I want to hear all the details."

To her credit, it did stop Sirius and Dorcas's bickering and prevented James from continuing his argument with her but on the down side, it meant everyone was now staring at him and Peter could feel the hotness of his face in embarrassment. But then, why should he be embarrassed? He had a girlfriend and James was still pining after Lily and getting nowhere; Remus apparently wasn't ready to ask Dorcas out and Sirius was chasing girls around the castle yet unable to keep one down. Having a girlfriend was an achievement and he was proud, even if she did live halfway around the world.

"Yes," he cleared his throat. "She's coming to visit over Christmas; you can all meet her then."

"Well I think that's brilliant," Dorcas said. "I'm glad you've found someone Pete." She shot a dagger look at Remus as she said it and Remus just looked sad.

"Good on you, mate," Fabian spoke up from next to Marlene. Peter smiled gratefully at his genuine expression. He'd always liked Fabian, he was always so sincere.

"Remus, you need to talk to her," Peter said, turning towards his friend and speaking so only he would hear. "Just tell her or she'll carry on like this."

Remus didn't reply, he just sighed but Peter knew that his friend knew he was right. He quite often was.

Peter never really said much when they were sitting in a large group like this. He knew that many people wondered what he was doing with the rest of the marauders – he was short, mousey and didn't say much, he wasn't particularly clever and to an outsider, he supposed he stuck out like a sore thumb. But none of that mattered when he knew his friends appreciated him. Peter didn't need anyone else to understand. Instead of contributing, Peter listened, and learned more about everyone in doing so.

Dorcas and Alice were talking in hushed tones together and no one else seemed to want to intrude on their conversation but that was usually the way with those two. Marlene was leaning against Fabian with her eyes half closed, and Mary, Gideon and Lily were all talking about NEWTs – it was Fab and Gid's last year at Hogwarts and they would be taking their final exams this year. Sirius was talking loudly about how he was going to spend his five galleons on next Hogsmead trip and receiving the odd glare from Dorcas. Basically it was just a normal evening and continued to be such until the walk up to the common room. Peter didn't hear it at first; he was only made aware of it because James, who was walking next to him, sighed in exasperation "here we go again."

Up ahead, Marlene and Fabian were walking along and it looked like they were having some sort of argument with each other, Marlene was frowning and Fabian was talking in a hushed voice that grew louder with annoyance. By now, everyone else seemed to have realised that things weren't as peaceful as they thought. Sirius's head was cocked to one side as he strained to listen and Remus – who's hearing was much better than anyone else's – had pursed his lips in disapproval.

"Oh God, they're at it again," Dorcas grumbled and she exchanged a glance with Alice that showed Peter that they definitely knew more than they were letting on.

"Just leave them alone," James was saying. "Marlene won't thank you." Peter saw that he was talking mostly to Sirius who raised his hands, his face a picture of innocence.

"I wasn't going to do anything!"

"Let's just go to bed, everyone's tired –"

"You don't have to like it Fabian, nobody actually asked your opinion!" Marlene's voice cut Lily off in her sensible suggestion and made sure nobody had to pretend they weren't listening.

"So you're saying there's nothing to it, are you?" Fabian folded his arms across his chest. "Can you honestly say that?"

Marlene stared at him, her mouth gaping open, the expression on her face one of shock and Peter thought a tiny bit of hurt. "I can't believe you actually have to ask that," she said angrily, "because if you do, I don't see the point."

Fabian's face left Peter in no doubt of what she meant and he suddenly felt very uncomfortable listening to this. James was frowning and Sirius looking anywhere but at the arguing couple. The girls on the other hand looked like they were on the verge of going and breaking up the fight and Gideon was watching his twin brother apprehensively and almost like he had no idea what they were fighting about.

Peter was also at a loss to explain but he decided he didn't want to know as he caught sight of Marlene's bitter expression.

"You know that's not what I'm saying," Fabian said in a quieter voice that still carried enough for them to hear.

Marlene was shaking her head, "I know." She looked around at them all as if suddenly realising that they were all there listening. She exchanged a long look with James, or maybe Sirius – they were in a particular line of sight, Peter supposed it could've been either of them.

"I'm going for a walk," Marlene grumbled, turning away from them all towards the portrait hole.

She'd taken one step towards it before Fabian grabbed her wrist to stop her and several things happened at once. Marlene twisted and shot him such a look that it made Peter's spine tingle, both Gideon and Sirius stepped forward but while Sirius jerked to a halt, Gideon placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. Fabian let go of Marlene's wrist and she left without a word to anyone.

Peter sighed, "oh dear," he muttered. "I think we should all just go to bed."

"Second that," Remus said quietly. He was looking at the girls who all appeared to have made a similar decision.

"I think I might go and see if Mars is alright," James said out loud.

"Don't worry about her," Dorcas said quickly, "I think she needs space Potter, don't worry about it." she cast a sideways glance at Fabian who looked angrier than Peter had ever seen him. "I'm going to bed and I think everyone else should do the same."

Nobody said anything but everyone knew she was right. Things always looked better in the morning.

 **hope you enjoyed and if you review, the next chapter will be up faster - that's the deal guys**


	3. 3rd September 1976

**UPDATE! This is the next chapter. I'm slowly building up the different relationships the characters have with each other - since there's more characters in this story than in any of my others, it takes longer to do but soon it'll settle down...or get messy, who knows? ;)**

 **Disclaimer - THIS IS NOT MINE! EXCEPT MAYBE PARTS OF THE PLOT... AND THE ODD CHARACTER...BUT APART FROM THAT IT'S ALL JO'S Xx**

 **Lyrics - Fade Into You, Mazzy Star**

 ** _Broken Glass_**

 ** _Chapter Three: 3rd September 1976_**

 _"I wanna hold a hand inside you._

 _I wanna take a breath that's true."_

If Dorcas hade said she was looking forward to double Transfiguration first thing on their first day back, she'd be lying. She could also say she'd managed to hide her groan of disgust from McGonagall, but that would also be a lie.

"I wouldn't complain too loudly if I were you, Miss Meadowes," the professor said, eyeing her sternly over the tops of the glasses. "It might encourage others to do the same," she shot a pointed look at Mary who was frowning unhappily at her own timetable.

Dorcas grimaced apologetically as the loud voice of James Potter rang out from a little down the table. "Great, we get the afternoon off!"

Never one for passing off an opportunity to put him in his place, McGonagall whipped around and said swiftly, "no, Mr Potter, that is a free period which you will use to study; not run amok with your friends."

Dorcas barely managed to cover up her smirk as James's face fell at the idea of using any type of free time to study. He seemed to be taking it hard because Dorcas barely heard him speak again for the remainder of breakfast. She just did what she always did and left the marauders to it, trying not to look over at them too much for fear that he might spot her and think she was thinking about him and that couldn't happen. She wasn't feeling particularly kind towards Remus at the moment, after all, nobody appreciated three weeks of silence with absolutely no explanation whatsoever.

"We should go soon," Alice said quietly, glancing at Dorcas knowingly.

Dorcas frowned. Alice seemed to know exactly what she was thinking about without her even saying anything but she just nodded and swung off the bench, only just registering the fact that Mary was fussing about her hair, which was pink today. Mary liked to dye it a different colour every week to cheer things up.

"It looks fine," Marlene was saying, shaking her head distractedly. "If you really want, I can go over it tonight."

Mary grinned and linked their arms, "thanks babes."

"Anything for you, Mare," Marlene laughed and winked at Dorcas who smiled, it seemed that Marlene and Fabian were speaking again. She'd been awake when her friend had crept out of the dormitory at 3 the other morning and she would bet her life it was to go and resolve whatever that little argument had been about.

Dorcas chuckled and aimed a light jab at Mary's ribs, "you're so conceited Mare; it's just a few lighter patches."

Mary stopped, bringing the whole group to a standstill just as they passed the marauders and flipped her head upside- down, showing Dorcas the patches of undyed hair underneath. "Look at that and tell me I'm conceited," she joked, flicking her short hair back over her head.

Dorcas grinned and determinedly kept her gaze averted from the four Gryffindor boys staring up at them. "Fine; it's awful, you aren't conceited, just very bad at hair dying."

"What in Merlin's name are you jabbering on about?" Potter frowned up at them from his seat. "You're causing a hold- up."

"You aren't even walking anywhere," Marlene scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Get off your fat arse or you'll be late for McGonagall – and you don't want that on your first day back."

"Nah, Minnie loves us," Sirius started to say, but was cut off as the voice of Professor McGonagall herself, rang out towards them.

"Potter, Black! Get to class now, I'm not prepared to deal with stragglers this early in the year."

Sirius frowned as Marlene smirked down at him then linked arms with Lily and pulled her away, followed by Mary. Dorcas shot a glance at Black's sulky expression and bit back a laugh. Most of the time she was relatively indifferent towards James and Sirius with a few certain exceptions such as Quidditch, but it was always amusing in moments like this as it wasn't often they were legitimately put in their places. She shook her head and made to go after Marlene, but before she could move, she saw Peter nudge Remus out of the corner of her eye and turned to look as he scrambled to his feet. "Dorcas, erm, could I have a word?"

All of the marauders were looking at her expectantly but Dorcas just looked at Remus. He shuffled nervously under her stare that was only slightly accusing then she turned to Alice who smiled. "I'll save you a seat Doe," she said before turning to catch up with the others.

Dorcas tuned and followed Remus in the opposite direction, feeling the steady gazes of the other three marauders on her back as she went. Remus led her to a side door at the corner of the Great Hall, which was actually a short cut to the owlery that not many people knew about. Once they were both inside, Remus closed the door and turned to face her, looking like he was about to fight off a troll.

Dorcas just folded her arms and lent against the wall of the corridor and waiting for him to start talking.

"Okay," Remus was so obviously nervous it was almost painful to watch but Dorcas was not going to give in yet; in her opinion, he deserved to feel uncomfortable about this situation. After all, it was all his doing.

Remus rubbed the palms of his hands together then let his arms fall to his sides. "So I know you're annoyed with me, and you have every right to be...and I'm sorry I behaved like such a jerk."

Dorcas swallowed and slowly pushed herself away from the wall. "Okay," she said quietly. "I get your sorry; I just don't understand why you stood me up in the first place?" she left the question hanging in the air between them.

Remus avoided her eyes. "Well, you see the thing is," he drew in a breath then said quickly, not looking at her, "I think you want more of me than I can give you...yet."

Dorcas absorbed those words in silence, not wanting to let them get to her but still feeling like she'd just been slapped across the face. "Right," she muttered. "I see..."

Remus stepped forwards but then lurched to a halt, seeming to change his mind last minute. "It's not that I don't like you," he said carefully. "I'm just not sure I want anything serious at this point."

Dorcas nodded, feigning understanding but inside she just wanted to run away – or hit something.

Remus's was shuffling his feet but he made no move to comfort her, instead lifting his shoulders and smiling uncertainly. "Friends?" he asked but his tone was careful.

Not knowing what else to say, Dorcas gave him her best fake smile and said, "of course. We should probably go now; I don't want a detention on my first day back."

He seemed to believe her and he relaxed. Dorcas hadn't realised how tense he'd been until his shoulders sagged and he gave her a genuine smile.

That was the problem with Remus Lupin, she decided, as they made their way to Transfiguration in silence. He was too kind for his own good. She knew that he hadn't meant to hurt her and that was the problem; his rejection stung her more than she would ever admit to anyone, especially him.

 _"I look to you and I see nothing._

 _I look to you to see the truth."_

Alice could tell something was wrong as soon as her friend entered the room. Dorcas was smiling a lot but it was an extravagant smile and it didn't reach her eyes which looked panicked and upset. Alice gripped the table and narrowed her eyes at Remus. If Lupin had done something to upset her friend then he would be answering to her. Remus appeared completely calm and a little like he'd had a weight lifted off his shoulders. This just made Alice more suspicious than ever.

"Are you okay?" she whispered as Dorcas flopped down in the seat Alice had saved for her.

Dorcas just shook her head, turning her fake smile in her direction. Alice narrowed her eyes. That would not work on her and Dorcas should know better than to try. Before she could say anything more however, Professor McGonagall entered the classroom.

Alice lent back in her chair as the professor scanned the room and nodded in approval. She knew there was no point trying to get the information out of Dorcas at that point in time but she would soon enough. Alice wasn't stupid, she knew Remus Lupin was at the heart of it and if the guy needed a punch in the face, she would be the one to give it and not even the rest of the marauders would be able to stop her.

"Today is a very important day," McGonagall was saying, eyeing each of her students in turn to make sure they were listening. "It marks the start of your N.E.W.T years and they are not to be taken lightly. I know that the exams at the end of this year do not count for anything but I promise you, that is not an excuse to flunk this year. Anything you learn this year is liable to come up in your exams and you will need to work hard for good results. You know what OWLs were like and your NEWT exams will be harder. It is my job to help prepare you for these exams and if there is anything you need at any point, just ask." She stopped then and sighed heavily. "Yes, Mr Potter."

Alice turned to see James with his hand in the air, expression innocent and she couldn't blame McGonagall for looking apprehensive.

"Is the practical part of our exams worth more or less marks than the theory?"

McGonagall blinked. Alice tried to hide her smile at the look of surprise on their professor's face at being asked a sensible question by James Potter.

"The practical is fifty percent, like last year and so you should make sure you spend just as much time practicing spell casting so you're prepared."

James nodded but he wasn't finished yet. "So if we need help, you'll help us?"

McGonagall wasn't the only one looking at James now. The majority of the class were staring at him curiously. Everyone except Lily, Sirius and Peter but Alice noticed that Lily was listening with a tiny frown creasing her forehead and that Sirius was doing a very good job of appearing uninterested whereas Peter had scrunched up his face in an attempt to control his laughter.

"Yes, that is what I just said," McGonagall frowned, the suspicious tone back in her voice.

James stood up abruptly. "Professor...Minnie, I need your help answering my question to you."

Alice felt her lips twitch. Whatever it was, judging by the look on Sirius's face, it was going to be good. Alice twisted around in her seat to watch the action unfold.

Professor McGonagall didn't reply, obviously concerned about where this was going.

James drew in a giant breath then said loudly, "my dear Minnie, I think we should make our relationship official, would you accompany me on our first Hogsmead trip?"

"Detention Potter, tomorrow night, my office!" McGonagall snapped instantly as Sirius guffawed with laughter and everyone else tried to cover up their own giggles.

James grinned and sat down, "its a date," he said, unfazed.

Alice saw Sirius hand James a handful of coins under the table. Smirking at the first theatrics of the year, she turned back around in her seat and pressed her lips together, trying to keep as quiet as she could so as not to bring the wrath of McGonagall down upon her. One glance sideways showed Lily sitting with her head bent low, hair hiding her small amused smile.

While McGonagall started going over the syllabus for sixth year, Alice ripped out a piece of paper from her notebook and scribbled down a note for Dorcas; ' _are you alright? Did Lupin do something?_ ' before nudging her friend and sliding the paper along.

Dorcas looked down at the paper and sighed heavily. She didn't look at Alice but she picked up her pen and started replying.

' _Nope, he just cleared some things up._ ' Alice stared down at Dorcas's curvy writing in confusion. That wasn't really an explanation, it was more like she was trying to delay telling her the truth.

Alice scribbled down, ' _what did he say? Do I need to hit him?_ '

She was pleased to see that Dorcas's lips curved upwards in a smile as she read that. The paper came back quickly and Alice looked down to read ' _no, he just wants to be friends._ '

"Damn," Alice mouthed and Dorcas shrugged, obviously trying to pretend it hadn't affected her. Alice knew her too well though and she might have fooled Remus, but it was her job to know the expressions of her best friend and she wouldn't be fazed. Turning back to the paper, she wrote her answer, trying to sound as optimistic as she could; ' _at least that's not a definite no. He probably just needs time – you know what boys are like._ '

Dorcas sent her a grimace when she'd read the note but Alice was pleased to see that the smile she gave her was much more genuine.

Alice reached out and squeezed her hand gently then scrunched up the paper so McGonagall wouldn't see it and confiscate it. She glanced behind her only once at the marauders; James still looked pleased with himself for the stunt he'd pulled at the beginning of class, staring at the back of Lily's head and smiling to himself. Remus looked completely normal, tired but listening intently to McGonagall. Peter was twirling his quill between his fingers and staring at it, looking completely absorbed by it, and Sirius was chucking bits of paper at Marlene who kept flicking them away but was obviously trying not to grin. Alice considered it all a normality and she turned back to face the front of the class, hoping what she had said to Dorcas was true and Remus just needed time to get used to the idea. She remembered what Sirius had told her over the summer; that this wasn't the first time Remus hade messed up a potential relationship for himself.

 _"You live your life you go in shadows_

 _You'll come apart and you'll go blind."_

"I think a war is inevitable," James was saying matter of factly. "You-Know-Who is just getting way too many followers. Sooner or later, they'll make a move and we'll have to do something about it."

Marlene was listening to him talk, slowly chewing on her potatoes at Lunch and waiting for the reactions of everyone else. She agreed with everything he had been saying and more.

"Well, it's our job to fight then isn't it?" Sirius muttered, echoing what Marlene had been thinking. He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Why is it always up to the younger generations?" he popped a forkful of food in his mouth and didn't say anything else.

"What on earth are you talking about, Black?" Mary had obviously been listening in as well.

Sirius turned to her with a stare that had just the right amount of coolness to be intimidating. "I'm talking about this McDonald," he held up a side column of the Prophet for them all to see. It was small, with not much information on it but the headline made shivers go down Marlene's spine; 'Purists Take to the Streets in Protest March.'

Marlene let her fork drop onto the plate as she swallowed nervously. "That's..."

"Purebloods," Sirius finished for her darkly, letting the newspaper drop. "Campaigning for the removal of muggleborns in the Ministry." He looked like he'd just eaten something very sour.

"Why isn't that stuff front page?" Marlene snapped as Dorcas snatched up the newspaper and scanned it, her frown growing more prominent as she read it.

"That's the question we all want an answer to," James mumbled through a mouthful of food. "And brings us back to the original statement."

To Marlene's bemusement, Lily started nodding her head. "I agree with Black," she said.

Sirius blinked at her, so did James, Remus, Pete, Mary and Dorcas. The only people who weren't surprised were Alice and herself. After all, despite his many imperfections Sirius was speaking sense.

Sirius on the other hand didn't seem to appreciate Lily agreeing with him at all. He just shrugged her off, albeit irritably. James however, made an obvious effort to engage her in conversation by picking up the opposite opinion so they could debate it. "But surely, it's not our mess – I mean, we're not exactly involved."

Marlene smirked knowingly. She'd heard James rant and swear about this issue many times and he knew he had to fight eventually but she had a strong suspicion that he was only arguing so Lily could manage to convince him and feel good about it. It wouldn't work, that girl was strong willed and she seemed to have made up her mind about James.

Marlene on the other hand knew she wasn't as resolute. Her eyes met Sirius's grey ones over the table and she swallowed nervously. She needed to do something about him quickly before anyone found out, but in that same moment she had to look away from his burning stare.

"Mars," James slid up the bench towards her. "I want to talk to you a moment, walk with me to Charms?"

Marlene smiled at her friend and got to her feet, "course Jay, I'll see you lot in a bit," she waved goodbye to her friends and followed James out of the Great Hall.

"So, I just wanted to make sure you're alright, after the other night y'know..." James trailed off uncertainly.

Marlene stopped walking and frowned in confusion. Then she remembered that they had all been witness to her little argument with Fabian. She shrugged, "Yeah I'm fine. We just had a disagreement."

"About what?" James pressed on and Marlene couldn't help but roll her eyes. He was the most unsubtle person she'd ever met.

"If you must know, he was being moody about the fact I went up to the castle with you and the boys instead of him... immature I know, but it irritated me."

James started walking again and Marlene walked beside him in silence as he absorbed that information. "That's okay then," he finally said. "I thought it might have been something worse."

Marlene raised an eyebrow, "worse? Like what?"

James shrugged, "I don't know. I was just wondering whether I'd have to go threaten the guy that's all."

Marlene couldn't resist rolling her eyes again at his theatrics. She considered James her older brother in so many ways but he could be ridiculously overprotective. "No need, Jay. I think I need to make it up with him..." she sighed heavily at the prospect. They had been off with each other for a whole day and a half now but none of their friends seemed to have noticed how cool they were being to each other, except maybe Gideon. Maybe that was a sign of how good her relationship with Fabian was, if no one saw when they were having an off moment, that was a good thing, wasn't it? Maybe it wasn't though, maybe it was a bad thing is they'd fallen out and nobody seemed to have even noticed that anything was wrong. Marlene shook her head, trying to clear all the confusion. She needed to think.

"Well the sooner the better, I say," James said. "We can't let some squabble compromise our Quidditch this year." Marlene laughed as they stopped outside Flitwick's office. "Can't let anything effect our game, can we Jay?"

"Nope, it's a very serious matter, Mars," James replied, fixing her with a stern look.

"Who's Sirius?"

Marlene rolled her eyes and turned as Sirius announced his arrival with his favourite pun. He stood behind them, grinning with Remus and Peter following him up. Marlene felt her heart splutter as their eyes met but she instantly quenched it.

"Really Prongs, I'd like you to tell me if there's another Sirius in your life." Sirius said, looking affronted. "That way I can decide whether I'd prefer to keep the house or the dog."

James just laughed and pushed his friend into the class before him, "shut up you prat."

"I'd prefer to keep the house, who needs a dog?" Marlene heard Sirius reply before he disappeared into the room.

Remus followed them as Marlene looked around for her friends but there was no sign of them just yet. "Marlene," Remus said and she turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. "Fabian was looking for you after you left, thought you'd want to know."

"Right," she muttered as she walked with him into the Charms classroom. "What did you tell him?"

"Mary said you'd already left, he looked pretty keen to talk to you," she saw him glance at her curiously but he didn't press the subject.

James, who had heard the last part of the conversation, pointed a threatening finger at her. "Sort it out Mars."

Marlene felt Sirius looking at her from where he was sitting next to James, head resting on his hands. Their eyes met briefly but the message was clear; 'tell him.'

Gritting her teeth, Marlene turned away and dropped her bag onto her own desk. Sirius Black couldn't tell her what to do, it was her decision. However, that little annoying voice in the back of her head reminded her that he wasn't trying to.

 _"Some kind of night into your darkness,_

 _Colours your eyes with what's not there."_

The fire crackled in the Gryffindor common room, somehow filling the whole space with its glow. Fabian lent back in his seat and closed his eyes. The waiting was the worst part, waiting for his girlfriend to come down from her dormitory and set his mind at rest. A noise made him open his eyes and look up to see Marlene standing in front of him, furry black and white cat clutched in her arms. "You wanted to talk?" she asked quietly.

It was only ten-thirty but the room was empty and Marlene was dressed for bed. The beginning of term was always the toughest and most people knew that an early night was essential.

"Yeah," he said softly. He was determined not to argue tonight but he needed to talk. Ever since he had returned from holiday, their relationship had felt weird – almost strained. Fabian had assumed it was down to her father leaving; it had shaken her and he had wanted her to know he was there for her but all of his efforts had been met with a wall of ice. Marlene sat down on the end of the sofa. Puddles her cat, squirmed in her arms and she let him go before turning to face him fully. "Okay," she nodded as if she had been waiting for this. "You go first."

Fabian cleared his throat and watched her carefully as he spoke, trying to judge her reactions. "I'm sorry about the other night Mars, I was tired and I don't know what came over me."

Her expression gave nothing away but she shifted on her cushion. "I know what came over you," she said, forehead creasing, "irrational jealousy, because I've known James my whole life and we keep the stupid tradition of going up to the castle with together."

Merlin, she made him feel like an idiot when she said it like that but Fabian wanted an answer. "And I don't have anything to worry about, with Potter?"

Marlene blinked a couple of times, and then she threw back her head and laughed. "James? He's like a brother, Fab. That would be gross."

Fabian felt foolish again but he couldn't help the feeling of relief that made his shoulders sink. Marlene blinked again in realisation. "That's what you were worried about?" she asked in a funny voice, almost like there was a lump in her throat. "That James and I...?"

Fabian let out a short burst of laughter at the ridiculousness of it and passed a hand over his face. "Stupid isn't it?"

All of a sudden, Marlene was kissing him but it wasn't the type of kiss that Fabian was used to. This kiss was full of longing and desperation and he didn't think he could recall a time that she'd ever kissed him like this but he responded as best as he could, gripping the exposed skin of her waist with one hand and tangling the fingers of his other in her damp hair. Fabian could forget where they were, that anyone could walk down any moment and see them there. His senses were alive but they were filled with Marlene; the way her skin felt, the way her lips were pressed to his and the sensation of her tongue flicking against his own and the way she smelt.

Marlene broke the kiss, leaning her forehead against his instead. Both of them breathing heavily and Fabian felt like he'd been drained of energy. "I love you Mars," he whispered, eyes remaining shut.

There was a silence that dragged on so long that Fabian opened his eyes and looked up at her. Something flickered in her eyes then and she drew in a shaky breath. "I love you too Fab," she said quietly.

In that moment, Fabian felt two very strong emotions. The first was happiness, a soaring feeling in the pit of his stomach as he heard her say the words he'd wanted to hear for a long time. Then a second emotion reared its head and Fabian had no idea where it came from:

Something in her voice had made him feel heartbrokenly sad.

 **hope you enjoyed and if you review, the next chapter will be up faster - that's the deal guys**


	4. 11th Septemeber 1976

**UPDATE! Here we are, I thank all the people who reviewed last chapter, you have my gratitude. I'm trying (and failing) to balance this story out with my other current ones but this story has longer chapters so it wont be frequent. Enjoy! :)**

 **Disclaimer - THIS IS NOT MINE! EXCEPT MAYBE PARTS OF THE PLOT... AND THE ODD CHARACTER...BUT APART FROM THAT IT'S ALL JO'S Xx**

 **Lyrics - Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now, The Smiths** (I'm a _HUGE_ Smiths fan;))

 ** _Broken Glass_**

 ** _Chapter Four_** ** _: 11th September 1976_**

 _"I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour,_

 _But heaven knows I'm miserable now."_

Lily woke up at 8:30 on the first weekend back to Marlene rushing around the room being generally flustered. Groaning, Lily turned over in her bed; her legs tangled in the covers and wriggled her toes, feeling the lovely freshness of crisp new bed-sheets.

"What, in Merlin's name is going on?" Alice had sat up in her bed, her short hair stuck out at the back. "It's eight fucking thirty in the morning!"

Marlene ignored her, pulling a jumper over her head. Instead, Mary – who was the only other person up and already dressed, sitting on the end of her bed – supplied "Quidditch" in a voice that sounded like it was trying to be enthusiastic.

Lily poked her head up as loud groans issued from the other girls. Alice had slumped back down onto her bed again and pulled the covers up to her chin while Dorcas, of whom Lily could only see the foot of sticking from under the blankets, mumbled, "no, it's not!"

Marlene stopped by her bed and yanked the sheets away, revealing Dorcas lying on her front, her pillow over her head. "Its try-outs Doe," Marlene said briskly, sending Dorcas a slap on the bum. "Get up!"

"No!" Dorcas growled, reaching up to pull the blankets back and disappear underneath them again.

"You'll come and watch, won't you Red?" Marlene directed at Lily who sighed. She had never actually gone to see a Quidditch match except from in first year. She hadn't particularly liked it either. Ever since, she'd always spent Quidditch Saturday holed up in the library with Severus, not being able to bring herself to go and watch Potter glory-hunting.

"Fine," Lily said begrudgingly, trying to tear her eyes away from Marlene's puppy-dog ones. She was beginning to realise why everyone liked Marlene so much – there was no way you couldn't.

"Well I'd get dressed if I were you," Marlene said happily. "Unless you want James to admire you in your pyjamas."

Lily blushed unnecessarily as she looked down at her Bambi pyjamas. "No thanks," she muttered, dragging herself out of bed and towards her trunk.

Marlene grinned and even Alice let out a little chuckle, which pleased Lily. After all, if you could make the queen of sarcasm chuckle, you were on the right track, weren't you?

Once she was dressed in faded blue jeans and a Gryffindor jumper (it was a little chilly in the mornings), Lily followed Marlene and Mary downstairs towards the common room. It was bustling with activity, which shocked her, as it was still the weekend and she wouldn't thought that most people would be still in bed. Students were running around with broomsticks and waving supportive flags for their friends.

Mary appeared to have caught the look of astonishment on Lily's face because she linked their arms and smiled. "You've never witnessed a Gryffindor try-out session have you Red?" she asked knowingly.

Lily just closed her mouth and shook her head.

"It's taken extremely seriously, almost as much as a game really. This is the day we will see who will take us to glory."

"It seems a bit much though, doesn't it?" Lily muttered as she watched Marlene greeted with a cheer from the red-clad supporters.

Mary shrugged and pulled her gently alongside her down the stairs. "Maybe, but it's all about the team spirit isn't it? Look, I've even dyed my hair scarlet."

Lily smiled although it was suddenly overwhelming about how little she knew about the life she could've led if Severus hadn't been in the picture. "Really? I thought you were just copying me."

Mary laughed, "Don't worry Red; this is nothing to your gorgeous colour."

"Fab and Gid have already gone down to the pitch with the marauders," Marlene was suddenly there in front of them. "We can grab breakfast and east it on the way."

Twenty minutes later, the three of them were making their way down the hill towards the pitch. The grass was still a little damp from the dew but the sun was sending golden light over them, catching the tiny spider's webs hidden in the bushes and making them shine like diamonds.

"Sky's clear," Marlene said to herself happily and she practically bounced down the slope. "No wind as of yet, I feel like this is going to be a good day!"

Lily could already see that there were a couple of people flying over the stands and she could see from a mile off that they were all team members. Apart from the fact that they were wearing the long red robes that the Gryffindor team wore, they were flying expertly. Lily didn't know much about Quidditch or flying but she could tell that from this distance; there was something so graceful about the way they soared around each other in almost perfect synchronisation.

Marlene squinted at them, "That's James and Black already showing off," she rolled her eyes but Lily knew it was with a fond expression. She swallowed, suddenly not finding their flying skills so attractive but not able to tear her eyes away.

"Oi! Lupin!" Mary yelled down the remainder of the hill and a lanky sandy-haired familiar boy turned to wave at them. Lily smiled in relief, she was glad Remus was there to watch with her and Mary, instead of them having to sit with the ever-growing crowd of supporters that were starting to fill the podiums.

"You alright?" Remus called, as soon as they were near. He spotted Lily and grinned. "Good to see we've got a new supporter – Prongs will be overjoyed."

Lily sighed in defeat, "Marlene dragged me. I don't know how Alice and Dorcas managed to create enough willpower to stay in bed."

"That's because they don't look her in the eyes," Mary said, staring up at the flyers distractedly. "If you look at her eyes, you're done for."

Lily laughed and looked up just as one of the players nearly fell of his broom, managing to keep a grip and pulling himself onto his broomstick again. He waved at one of the other players and gestured wildly in their direction.

"Yeah," Remus said, answering Lily's unspoken question. "That's James."

Lily managed to bite her lip to stop herself laughing and nodded.

There was a whoosh and Gideon landed with a thud next to Mary. "You guys alright?" he asked in an authoritative voice.

Mary leaned forwards and kissed his cheek, smiling. "Yeah we're fine."

"Well, we're starting in a minute, so just wanted to say…hi," Gideon smiled his goofy smile and picked up the whistle dangling around his neck. He blew on it once and everyone who had been in the air descended and all the candidates walked over.

"Heya! We made it!"

Nearly everyone present turned to look in the direction of the shouting voices. Lily looked around as well and saw Alice and Dorcas running down the slope towards them, trying not to let the stacks of toast they both carried topple over onto the ground.

"They can't be serious," Mary muttered, loud enough for the people around her to hear as Alice jerked to a standstill next to them and the top two pieces of toast flew off the pile.

" _Blast_!" She hissed, whipping out her wand and somehow holding the pile with her spare arm. She cleaned off the toast and stuck it in her mouth, just as Dorcas came to a standstill next to her, out of breath from running. She waved her own pillar of toast and said breathlessly, "carry on – don't mind us!"

Gideon eyed them frostily for distracting everyone. "Thanks," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm before turning back around to face the players. "Right," he said loudly. "We're missing quite a few members this year due to them leaving and that means we have more places. That does not mean that the original team should take anything for granted; perform well, fly fast and good luck. Chasers, we'll be doing you first!"

"Do you want any toast," Alice thrust the stack towards Lily with a look on her face that Lily dared not to argue. She took a couple of pieces off the top and chewed on them slowly while she watched Marlene and Potter line up with the other wannabe Chasers.

"Obviously Prongs and Marlene will get on the team," Peter said, apparently materialising from nowhere and taking the toast offered wordlessly to him by Dorcas. "They fly so well together."

Lily frowned, "isn't Fabian a chaser?" she asked. He had been the last time she'd paid any attention to Quidditch – which admittedly had been a while ago.

"Nah," Remus said in a thankfully non-judgemental voice. "He became the seeker last year when Harrows got kicked off the team for mid-game assault on the Slytherin Beater."

Lily sighed, "Of course."

They sat there, the six of them, watching their mutual friends play and Lily thought to herself as she watched them, that this year wouldn't as bad as she had been dreading. It was difficult to feel gloomy about lost friendships when the sun was shining and there was so much toast to be eaten.

 _"I was looking for a job, and then I found a job_

 _And heaven knows I'm miserable now."_

James bounced into the changing rooms, delighted with his performance on the pitch and over the moon that Lily Evans had been there to witness it. Lily Evans, who, as far as James could recall, had never seen anything Quidditch-related in living memory. She had come to the tryouts to watch him play… well, maybe not him exactly but he could overlook that minor detail.

"James, please stop bouncing!" Marlene muttered. "It's making me feel tired."

James reached out with one arm and wrapped it tightly around her neck, pulling her in for a side hug and doing the same to Sirius with the other arm. "We got on the team! We got on the team!"

"Prongs!" Sirius laughed and tried to push him away but James wasn't having any of it. "Why are you so full of energy?"

"Because Lily was watching," Marlene answered him before James could speak.

James grinned even wider and kissed Marlene on top of her head. "I love you Mars!" he exclaimed, then did the same to Sirius. "And you too Paddy!"

"You do realise that Evans didn't come to the tryouts to see you though Prongs don't you?" Sirius said, instantly putting a dampener on James's good mood. "She came to watch Marlene."

Marlene wriggled out of James's slackened grip and stood back. "I'm gonna get changed before I head back to the castle. Tell the girls not to wait for me?" She pulled her robes over her head, revealing her Quidditch leggings and vest-top. James, who had practically lived with Marlene for so many years, barely blinked an eyelid but he did glare at the new fifth year beater. The guy was being a bit too leery for James's taste.

"I'll tell them," James muttered, still eyeing the beater whose name he thought was Arnie Spencer. "Padfoot, you coming?"

Sirius shook his head, "I'm gonna take a shower, I'll see you up there for lunch."

James shrugged and wondered out of the changing rooms, hoping that Lily would be out there waiting with the others. He shouldn't hope, James thought to himself. Hope only made him more miserable when he got let down.

To his astonishment, however, as soon as he stepped into the bright sunlight, he caught sight of the unmistakable red hair that could only belong to Lily. She was standing with Remus, Peter, Alice and Dorcas. Mary, it appeared, had already gone back to the castle with Gideon and left the rest of them to wait for Marlene.

"Hey Potter!" Alice yelled when she spotted him, causing everyone else to turn and face him as he walked towards them. "Nice flying today, I especially liked your version of the Sloth-Grip roll earlier!"

James almost flushed. He had nearly fallen off his broom when he'd spotted Lily amongst their little group and obviously that stunt hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Cheers Prewett," he said, yawning and feeling his tummy rumbling. "Marlene says she's getting changed and not to wait for her by the way."

The girls nodded, almost like they had expected this.

"Well I'm starving," Alice said brusquely as they all turned to head up to the castle. "I really fancy some pie."

James made to go after them but Remus stopped him by saying, "where's Padfoot?"

More concerned about catching up with the girls so he could talk with Lily, James waved a hand back distractedly. "In the shower, come on Moons, let's go!"

Remus paused only slightly before following him and Pete after the three girls.

"Hey, wait up!" James was surprised that he was out of breath by the time he reached them – Merlin they could all walk fast.

All three turned to look at him. Dorcas looked like she'd expected this, Alice looked bemused at the fact that he was so out of breath and Lily just looked like she wanted to leave.

"Well Potter," Alice spoke with that ridiculously sarcastic voice she had. "Do you need a breather already?"

James shook his head furiously and coughed. "No, but I would appreciate it if you walked a little slower – I'm worn out from all that flying."

Alice turned, "must be exhausting for you."

"I've often wondered, Prewett," James jogged up to walk beside her (Lily was on Alice's other side so this was a vantage point if you asked him). "Why didn't the Sorting Hat put you in Ravenclaw, with your amount of wit?"

"Why didn't he put _you_ in Ravenclaw?" Alice retorted. Lily chuckled from the other side of her.

James considered his answer. "I suppose I just value chivalry over intellect," he said after a moment.

"Nobody argues that you aren't a true Gryffindor," Lily said suddenly, shocking James with this offhand, out of character compliment. "But your wittiness and desire for knowledge are very obvious as well."

James looked at her over the top of Alice's head. "The same could be said for you," he replied casually. "Yet I've never met someone with such a fierce temper."

He grinned as Alice snorted and Lily flushed. But it was different this time. It wasn't an angry flush in which she usually accompanied the reddening of her cheeks with a glare that could raise the dead and a string of angry names or curses. No, this flush was different; almost pleased. That fact made James smile in victory. That is until they rounded a corner and came to an abrupt halt in front of Severus Snape.

 _"In my life, why do I give valuable time_

 _To people who don't care if I live or die?"_

Sirius should probably have had the foresight to consider that what he was doing was a bad idea. Unfortunately, he didn't have very good foresight and he knew that. He sat in the shower that had been off for the past three and a half minutes and listened to the angry voices out in the changing rooms.

"I thought we'd been over this Marlene, I can't do everything for you all the time!"

There was a loud crash and Marlene replied hotly, "I never asked you to do anything for me Fabian and, quite frankly, I think you ask too much of me!"

Sirius could only close his eyes and lean his head back against the white panelling of the wall and try to block out their voices. That was neigh on impossible.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Fabian snapped.

"You can't waltz back from America or Morocco or where ever the fuck you were and expect everything to be normal Fab! You were away for six weeks – possibly the six most horrendous weeks of my life so far and you assume that nothing has changed? I barely heard from you at all!"

Sirius let out a low breath as Marlene dropped that milestone. He could only assume that this had been the first conversation they had had about the summer and it didn't sound like it was going too well.

"You can't be suggesting that it's my fault you're so...so..." Fabian seemed to be finding it difficult to come up with the right words. Sirius could think of a few that he would've said; stubborn, hot-tempered, hot...

"I think you should just leave me alone for a bit Fabian," Marlene said. Sirius could hear that it had taken on a frostiness that meant that Fabian should probably just do as she said. He obviously wasn't the only one who knew Marlene well though. There was a rustling then footsteps, then the sound of the door slamming.

Sirius sat there for a good five minutes, wondering what to do. He could go out there and comfort her, risking his own neck in the process, or he could stay here, letting the cooled water drip off him and wait until Marlene left. His decision was made up for him when he heard the sounds of muffled sobs. However complicated their relationship was, they had been friends for a long time now, and Sirius would be damned if he stayed here listening to a friend's pain and doing nothing.

Drying himself with magic and quickly pulling on his jeans and favourite ACDC shirt, Sirius cautiously opened the door of the shower block, suddenly nervous about what he might find out there. What he did see made his heart heavy.

Marlene was slumped in the corner of the changing rooms, forehead pressed to her knees as her body shook. In all his life, Sirius could count on one hand the amount of times he'd ever seen her cry in front of him and two of those had been when they were eleven. The third time was more recent so Sirius sort of knew how to deal with this. He walked over to her quietly and stopped when he reached the wall.

She heard him coming and froze before saying in a muffled voice, "go away Sirius."

Sirius didn't ask how she knew it was him and neither did he do as she told him to. Instead, he slid down the wall so he was sitting next to her and stretched his legs out in front of him. "No, I don't think so."

Marlene looked up at him, all red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. And still he thought she was beautiful. That thought was quashed abruptly as she grabbed the front of his shirt in one fluid move and crushed her lips to his.

Sirius was so shocked, he didn't react in his usual manner. If he had been expecting that, or had instigated it himself, he would've pushed her further, pushed her for more. That being that, he was taken by surprise and so reacted weirdly. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her away gently. "Marlene, what are you doing?"

Marlene glared at him. "Alright, so it's okay if you surprise attack me but if it's the other way around, it's not!" She let out a hysterical laugh and turned her face away. "I've heard it all," she muttered.

"No," Sirius decided to try and play the patient one in this game. "I just don't think you're acting like yourself."

Marlene slumped again and Sirius released her, albeit reluctantly. "Maybe I don't want to be me," she said quietly. "Being me is what got me into this mess in the first place."

"I don't believe you," Sirius said. He gritted his teeth and grudgingly acknowledged "Fabian - despite his many faults - does still love you."

"I know," Marlene hung her head in shame. "I lied to him Sirius, I told him I..." She trailed off and her eyes widened as she realised what she was saying.

"You told him what?" Sirius frowned at her, knowing that she wasn't telling him something. Something in the back of his mind knew but he refused to except that. Hope was a killer.

"Nothing," Marlene avoided his gaze.

Sirius raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

They sat there in silence for a moment then Marlene shifted so she was facing him again. "Sirius, I can't deal with it any more. I can't deal with everything that's going on in my life, I need to forget it." She swallowed and closed her eyes. "Do you understand?"

Sirius didn't understand, he just sat there, trying to work out her puzzling words.

Marlene opened her eyes and looked up at him, pleading. "I need you to make me forget."

There was a pause in which the pair of them stared at each other. Sirius's head was whirling, his thoughts moving too quickly for even him to get a hold off. Fuck thinking, a voice in the back of his head whispered. Fuck consequences, fuck everything. Marlene is here asking you for something you desperately want to give. Out loud, all he said was "fuck it," before taking her Marlene's face in his hands and kissing her.

Marlene responded and Sirius realised that she hadn't kissed him like this since the beginning of the summer holidays. That time that had been filled with so much pain for both of them, it hurt to think about it. It was desperate and full of longing. She gripped his shirt in her hands and pulled him closer to her, legs wrapping around his waist. It wasn't the most comfortable but Sirius had experienced worse and in that moment, he didn't care. Marlene filled up his senses without room for anything else. She was all he needed, and all he wanted.

 _"Two lovers entwined pass me by,_

 _And heaven knows I'm miserable now."_

Remus came to a halt as he spotted Snape standing on the steps leading up to the castle. He was alone but that wasn't particularly strange. What was strange, was the weird, twisted look on his face as he glowered down at them. Remus knew there was no way they could get past without a confrontation.

Snape was staring at Lily accusingly, and even though she wasn't even standing next to him, Lily shifted a couple of inches away from James.

Apparently, both James and Snape noticed this because they instantly started glaring at each other.

"Hey, Snape, let us through," Alice said. Remus wouldn't necessarily call it barking an order but it wasn't far off.

"I want to talk to Lily," Snape said, turning his cold black eyes on Alice instead. "Alone."

At that, both Dorcas and Alice moved simultaneously, stepping in front of Lily to stop her.

"Not a chance," Dorcas growled. "Anything you have to say you can say in front of all of us."

"Too bloody right," Alice was glaring dangerously at the Slytherin blocking their way into the castle. "Lily is our friend so spit it out or leave us alone."

Remus stood with Peter and James and admired the fact that these girls were instantly prepared to protect their friend – someone they'd only started to hang around with in the last month or so. It showed a loyalty that reminded Remus of his own close friends.

"It's alright," Lily said quietly but Remus could see straight away that she was nervous. "I can listen to what he has to say." She turned back to Snape with a icy look on her face. "But Doe's right, you can say it here and now, or not at all Severus."

Snape looked like he was struggling on the verge of saying something, then his face twisted and he spat out, "fine, I've got nothing to say in front of your blood-traitor friends."

James made to move towards him, his expression angry but Alice threw out an arm to stop him, which he didn't resist. Even James wasn't stupid enough to do that.

Lily let out a long, slow breath and then looked up at her old friend calmly. "Then we have nothing more to say to each other, do we?"

Snape hesitated, eyes flicking from James and Alice's angry faces, to Dorcas's unrelenting one, to Lily's which was devoid of emotion before shrugging and turning away.

Remus glimpsed the expression on his face as he did though, and it was one of loathing. Whether loathing at them or himself, Remus didn't know but he was sure they'd probably all find out one day.

Lunch was relatively normal, although it very quickly came to everyone's attention that Fabian and Marlene had had another fight – mainly because when Marlene turned up at the table, Fabian left with a angry glare in her direction.

The girls noticed immediately and clustered around her, closing their ranks to everyone else, which put an immediate halt to any conversation. In fact, the only person at the table who seemed remotely cheerful was Sirius. Remus didn't ask what was the cause of this, neither did he feel like he wanted to know.

 **hope you enjoyed and if you review, the next chapter will be up faster - that's the deal guys**


	5. 15th September 1976

**UPDATE! Hey, thank you for reviewing**

 _ **I just wanted to clarify one point from the last chapter that a couple of people have asked about. this is the marauder's SIXTH year at Hogwarts and in this story, James doesn't get the captain's badge for Quidditch until SEVENTH year. therefore Gideon is keeping that role warm for him - don't worry, I haven't forgotten. :)**_

 **Disclaimer - THIS IS NOT MINE! EXCEPT MAYBE PARTS OF THE PLOT... AND THE ODD CHARACTER...BUT APART FROM THAT IT'S ALL JO'S Xx**

 **Lyrics - You Could Be Happy, Snow Patrol**

 ** _Broken Glass_**

 ** _Chapter Five: 15th September 1976_**

 _"You could be happy and I won't know._

 _But you weren't happy the day I watched you go."_

Wednesdays were Mary's favourite weekday. Once you had gotten them out of the way then it was over halfway to the weekend and the particular Wednesday meant that it was nearly the first Hogsmead trip of the year.

"We're gonna go shopping – I need some new books and a coat, and there's that lovely little place that's just been renovated next to Carters that looks nice, we could go there?"

"Mary," Gideon was laughing as he followed her along the corridor, arms full of both her books and his own. "You do know that we won't have enough time to do all of those things?"

Mary shot him a look sideways and tutted slightly. "That's a very negative outlook Gid, that's more of a Fabian thing nowadays."

Gideon pursed his lips and didn't say anything. Mary sighed. "Sorry," she said quietly. "I just don't understand what's going on with him at the moment."

"I don't think any of us do," Gideon muttered. He did not look very happy with this fact; Mary supposed that after years of the twins telling each other everything, it must be strange now that Fabian had so publically started withholding stuff.

"Marlene probably does," Mary sighed slightly at the thought of the mess her friend had managed to create. They had slowed down now due to the huge amounts of people trying to make their way out into the grounds for lunch. "It's between them two whatever it is."

Gideon shrugged back, lowering his voice so the group of Hufflepuff's in front of them didn't overhear them. "I don't know whether it's necessarily about Marlene herself."

Mary bit the inside of her cheek and didn't reply. They emerged into the bright sunlight of the grounds and Mary glanced around searching for any sign of the other sixth year Gryffindors. She spotted Alice first, leaning against the fountain in the centre of the courtyard. "There they are," Mary said, already taking off in their direction.

Gideon followed her, readjusting his grip on the pile of books he was holding.

"Hey Mare," Marlene said as she spotted them from where she was sitting with her back to the fountain. "How was Runes?"

Mary rolled her eyes and went to sit next to her friend. "We've been given year partners and I'm with Reg Cattermole."

"Reginald?" Marlene's eyes lit up. "He's adorable; I sat next to him in Arithmancy last year, he always reminds me of a puppy."

Mary smiled at the comparison. It was true that the Hufflepuff's light brown hair and big warm brown eyes resembled a dog.

"A dog is a man's best friend," James appeared out of nowhere from around the other side of the fountain. "Who are we talking about?"

"Reg Cattermole," Alice cut in from where she'd been standing and listening into the conversation. "He does have a sweet personality."

"Where's everyone else?" Mary asked, trying to move the conversation away from Reg before someone like Sirius turned up. Sirius would only take the piss.

"Dorcas should be getting here soon," Alice said, accepting the abrupt change of conversation without batting an eyelid. "And I think Lily said she was getting a new quill from the dorm, hers broke during when we were in Muggle Studies."

"Where's Fab?" Gideon asked suddenly.

Everyone turned to look at Marlene who glanced around at them all before shrugging. "I don't know," she muttered, sounding slightly resentful. Mary knew her well enough to know that it was discomfort.

"Why –" Alice started, her eyes fixed on Marlene.

"What's everyone doing for Hogsmead this weekend?" James cut over her quickly and Mary saw Marlene shoot him a grateful look.

Feeling thankful that James had cut off Alice before she could start interrogating Marlene about her relationship, Mary jumped at the chance to back him up – something she rarely did. "Well, me and Gid were thinking of going to that new place but we'll probably pop into Carters at some point if you guys are gonna be around."

James nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah I expect so, if you bring Evans."

Mary scoffed. "Deal," she said.

"I don't know if we can speak for Red," Alice said. "She told me she's already got a date." Her face remained totally impassive, but Mary saw the corner of Marlene's lips twitch.

There was a deathly silence that came from James for a good five seconds before Alice grinned and shook her head. "Don't fret Potter, I'm only pulling your leg."

James narrowed his eyes and shrugged. "I wouldn't care if she was going with someone."

Marlene scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Well she's not," Alice said solemnly, not taking her eyes off James's face and obviously enjoying making him squirm.

"Well I wouldn't care," James was now mumbling under his breath and avoiding looking at Alice's smirk.

He was saved further teasing by the arrival of Dorcas and Mary's impatience.

"So are all going to meet up in Carters?" she asked, looking at Marlene for a sensible answer.

Marlene hesitated before shrugging, "I don't see why not," she glanced at Alice who nodded.

Slightly more satisfied with that answer, Mary smiled. She knew that they could turn up to Carters anytime and there was a very good chance of the boys being there.

"We need to go to Zonko's but we could all meet up for drinks at about one-ish?" James suggested.

Marlene nodded and Dorcas laughed. "You seem pretty keen Potter."

James shrugged, "what's wrong with wanting to spend time with friends?" he asked innocently.

Mary caught Marlene's eye and they shared a knowing look. The translated version of that would be more like 'I just want a chance to spend more time with Lily.' Well, Mary wasn't going to get in his way. She had a bet of Five Galleons with Dorcas and Alice over how long it would take for James to wear Lily down and get her to accept him. She reckoned five months and she was going to do all she could to make sure she didn't lose.

 _"And all the things that I wish I had not said,_

 _Are played in loops till it's madness in my head."_

Marlene slammed down her bag onto the desk in Slughorn's classroom, causing Sirius – who'd been assigned her partner for the term – to start and lift his head up off his arms. He looked exhausted.

"Late night?" she asked, sitting down in her seat and raising an eyebrow.

Sirius blinked at her, brow creasing. "No," he muttered and he sounded almost defensive about it.

Marlene shrugged, turning away so she could take her books out of her bag. "I was just asking," she said, trying to sound offhand.

Sirius had rested his head back on his arms and obviously wasn't going to reply to that. Marlene wasn't sure if he'd even heard her. She stared down at him and tried to shake the feeling that he was avoiding her question. It shouldn't matter; he didn't owe her anything but maybe some honesty would be nice. If he was getting so little sleep because he was seeing someone, she felt like he should at least tell her about it.

 _You're being a hypocrite, Marlene_ , a little voice in her head muttered. _You're the one whose shagging Sirius Black behind Fabian's back.._. Marlene groaned and slammed her head down on the desk.

This sudden movement seemed to jerk Sirius out of his doze, "you alright McKinnon?"

Marlene turned her head to look over at him. she paused, mind whirring about what she might, or could say to him, maybe tell him that the thought of him with someone else made her feel sick in her stomach, or that she was selfish enough to want his full attention, but all that came out was; "fine...I'm fine."

Sirius eyed her for a second longer before the door of the classroom opened and Slughorn entered – or rather, his belly entered and he followed it. Sirius let out a loud, tired sigh and pulled himself upright, making it obvious how much effort that small movement took.

Marlene copied his actions, sliding her bag off the desk so it fell with a thud next to her feet and turned to face the front of the room, trying to block out his presence next to her.

Slughorn clapped his hands together and the class instantly ceased chattering. Marlene spotted Lily and Remus sitting in their usual seats across from them. Lily had their cauldron in front of her, was poking around in it while Remus sat next to her, and stared off into space, eyes dropping. Marlene glanced across at James and Peter as she felt her suspicions start to disappear. They both looked equally tired as their friends and she sighed, they had obviously been out late in the kitchens or running round the castle at some unearthly hour last night and that was why they all looked so tired.

"By now, your potions will have had enough time to mature overnight and should be a lilac colour," Slughorn was saying at the front of the class.

Marlene peered into her cauldron and smiled in satisfaction. Theirs was indeed a lovely lilac hue. She nudged Sirius who jolted up from where his head had been slowly sliding down his arm and nodded silently towards the front just as Slughorn descended on them.

"Very good, Mr Black, Miss McKinnon – now continue with the instructions from the board."

Marlene nodded absentmindedly as Slughorn turned his back on them without another word.

Sirius sniffed and shook himself. "You know he used to call me by my first name," he observed lightly. "Ever since I got disowned however it's been 'Mr Black'."

Marlene shrugged as she glanced over the notes on the board. "I suppose it's not that surprising; it is Slughorn we're talking about." She shot a sideways look at him out of the corner of her eye to judge his mood. He was liable to mood swings when it came to the subject of his family but he appeared perfectly calm.

He noticed her watching him and raised an eyebrow quizzically. "What?"

Marlene sent him a half-hearted smile but turned to look at him properly. "You seem different when talking about them."

Sirius hesitated, making a show of stirring the potion instead of looking at her. Marlene waited; she could play the patient game if she had to. After a moment, Sirius sighed and put down the wooden spoon, raising his eyes to meet hers. "Maybe I'm just too tired to waste any more energy over them," he said slowly. "They did what they did, but the longer I'm angry at them, the longer it'll take for me to move on and I just need to get on with my life."

Marlene sat stunned for a second, then she smiled and this time, it was a genuine smile. "I think that's a very wise decision Black," she said quietly. "Good for you."

Sirius shrugged and carried on stirring. "What about your problems?" he asked. "Still need help forgetting about them?" he waggled his eyebrows at her.

Marlene glared, "No, I do not, now please do not bring that up." She made to move away towards the store cupboard angrily but Sirius reached out and caught her wrist.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, obviously having caught on to her abrupt irritation. "That was tactless."

"It was," Marlene muttered, still feeling grumpy but unable to turn away what appeared to be a genuine apology from Sirius Black. "Fine," she relaxed and he released her wrist.

They worked in an awkward silence for a while after that, Marlene was finding calm in the repetitiveness of chopping up roots to the exact same sizes and didn't notice for a while that Sirius had actually been speaking to her.

"Marlene...? McKinnon!"

Marlene looked up in slight surprise at being brought back from her Zen place and looked at him, "what?"

Sirius stared at her in slight admiration for a moment. "I don't think I have ever seen anyone so absorbed by roots before," he muttered.

Marlene rolled her eyes, "no thanks to you. What were you saying?"

Sirius shrugged and didn't meet her eyes. "I just wondered how you actually were?"

The deeper meaning of this question was not missed and Marlene knew she'd have to answer truthfully to him, after all, he knew everything already. However, that wasn't going to stop her trying to avoid the conversation for as long as she could

"I'm fine," she said quietly. Then paused and glanced sideways at him. Sirius was looking at her with his eyebrows raised and a look on his face that told Marlene he wasn't fooled. She sighed. "Well, no I'm not," she amended. "But I'm dealing with it."

Sirius nodded, returning to stirring the potion anti-clockwise. "Have you heard anything from your dad then?"

"Yep," Marlene nodded, frowning. "He's sent me letters – I haven't opened them."

"You kept them?"

Marlene nodded again, this time biting the inside of her cheek like she always did when stressed. Sirius noticed.

"You know, if you don't want to open them on your own, it might help to have someone there who understands the situation."

Marlene sighed and picked up the roots, dropping them into the cauldron and turning to face him. "Fabian wouldn't understand."

Sirius shook his head, and Marlene could have sworn he scoffed slightly. "I wasn't talking about Fabian."

Marlene bit her lip again. She had known he wasn't talking about Fabian. "I'm not sure," she said quietly. "I don't think I want to read them right now."

Sirius nodded then smiled humourlessly. "You know if you need someone to burn them with as well, I'm keen."

Marlene chuckled. Her father had never liked Sirius, due to his status as the black sheep of his family. He had thought of him as a bad influence on his already rebellious daughter. Sirius had returned those feeling with good grace.

"Thank you," Marlene said quietly. Then frowned, "I don't think I've ever said that to you before."

Sirius shrugged but shot her a smile all the same "not a problem McKinnon."

 _"Is it too late to remind you how we were?_

 _But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur."_

Alice knew that something was off as soon as she stepped outside into the grounds. There was a large group of students clustered around a spot off to the side and they were making much loud noise as they all looked on at something.

"Oh for Merlin's sake!" Lily muttered as they all caught on to what Alice was looking at.

Together, the five girls all made a beeline for the crowd. To be perfectly honest, Alice had suspected that when they got there, they'd find the marauders in the middle of a group of students performing some mischief or bullying Snape again. However, what met her eyes and ears was far worse than James hanging Snape upside down by his ankle. The cause of the problem wasn't as obvious as the victims, whom the circle situated around.

Lily barged her way to the front and Alice followed close behind. Fortunately, most of the onlookers were second and third years so they moved out of the way quickly when they saw the prefect badge on Lily's robes. When they got through, they all stared in shock for a moment. On the ground were two first year Hufflepuffs; a boy and a girl, their bags had been split open and their books were scattered all over the ground. The cause of this bullying was instantly identifiable; Alice looked up to see a large group of Slytherin third years trying to make and escape back towards the castle.

"Oi!" She yelled after them in her best McGonagall voice. A couple of them skidded to a halt at the sound and looked back guiltily. Alice pointed at them and raised an eyebrow. "You lot!" she called. "Get back here now!"

"What's going on here?" Alice turned as a new voice joined the commotion, distracting her from the Slytherins.

"Nath –"

Marlene was cut off as her older brother joined them. Any chance of the crowd sticking around to see what happened next vanished as soon as they saw the Head Boy and they scattered, leaving the two first years scrambling to their feet.

"What's all this?" Nathan McKinnon asked, eyebrow raised as Marlene scowled.

Alice turned back to the Slytherin group but to her dismay, she saw that they had vanished along with the rest of the crowd. "Damnit," she muttered but only Dorcas acknowledged this.

Lily was helping the first years gather their books and fixing their bags back up again. Marlene was talking to her older brother in a hushed voice but even as she spoke, Nathan brushed past her towards the first years.

"Are you two alright?" he asked, looking down at them. They both appeared incredibly nervous at being addressed directly by the head boy but they both nodded although they still looked a little shaken from the ordeal.

"What exactly happened?" Lily asked gently as she handed the boy back his mended bag. "Did those Slytherins attack you?"

The girl, whose name Alice recognised from the Sorting was Hannah Humble, nodded shyly.

The boy, whose name Alice did not remember, said in a strained voice "we were just walking from lunch and they came out of nowhere. Kept saying we should 'go back to where we came from'."

Alice felt a sinking feeling n her stomach at that and exchanged a look with Dorcas. They both felt that they knew exactly why these two children had been attacked. Lily on the other hand seemed to want to confirm their suspicions. She smiled at them kindly and said, "If you don't mind me asking, you do come from muggle families don't you?"

The girl nodded and the boy looked up at her grimly. That was all the answer Lily seemed to require because she turned to Nathan. However, before she could say anything, Marlene had rounded on her brother. "Don't you see Nath? They were attacked because they are muggleborns!"

"That's alright now," Mary turned to the two younger students who were watching the exchange with wide eyes. "You can go for the rest of your lunch and if anything like this ever happens again, you must go straight to the head of your house, you got me?"

They both nodded and scurried off without another word and Alice turned her attention back to the siblings.

"Marlene –"

"No, Nathan, can't you see what's right in front of you! Those Slytherin bastards were bullying them!" Marlene was getting all fired up now and Alice could see a full-blown sibling squabble on the brink. Apparently so could Mary because she took Marlene's arm and made an effort to pull her away. "Nathan will handle this one Mars, let's go."

Marlene resisted at first but then gave in when the rest of them followed Mary towards the castle, leaving her older brother staring after her with a conflicted expression. Alice shot him one grimace then quickly hurried to catch up with her friends who were walking at the fast pace that Marlene was setting for them.

"He's so infuriating!" Marlene was snarling as she stomped along. "He thinks he's right about everything but he can't see a single shred of the truth right in front of his eyes!"

"Nathan isn't like you Mars," Dorcas said when Marlene stopped for breath. "He believes in your family's ideals and it's clouding his judgement."

"That's true," Mary backed Dorcas up as Marlene scowled. "You've always said that your parents have pressured you not to get involved in anything too risky with this war. Not everyone is as rebellious as you are – well, except from Black."

Marlene spun around, "What about him?" she snapped.

Mary looked taken a back for a split second before she recovered herself. "Well, I just mean it's not exactly a secret that his family disowned him over the summer…I didn't think you cared so much about his privet life."

"I didn't," Marlene turned back around again and started heading for the castle at an even faster pace. "I mean, I don't."

"I thought you were friends with him though," Lily chimed in. "At least, you've known him as long as you've known Potter and you like Potter."

Alice was amused to realise that she still called him by his surname, despite his obvious attempts to get in her good books over the past couple of weeks.

"That's different!" Marlene glared as she walked. "Anyway, how did we end up discussing this?"

"The point is," Mary said, continuing from her previous statement. "Is that Nathan obviously has gone for your parents ideals rather than the ones you have followed."

Alice could see that Marlene knew her friend was right but didn't want to admit it. "It doesn't matter," she said out loud. "Mars whatever happens you have people by your side that believe in the same things as you do, people that know exactly what you've been going through." She knew that her life would lead her into this war headfirst and she wasn't even going to try and prevent the inevitable.

Marlene didn't reply but continued walking along with a pained expression, apparently lost in thought.

 _"Most of what I remember makes me sure_

 _I should have stopped you from walking out the door."_

The sky was growing dark outside as Peter, Sirius, Remus and James sat around the fire in their favourite chairs in the common room, slumped and snoozing. They had been out racing around the grounds the night before with Moony and Peter had been constantly falling asleep in his classes all day. Even now, the warmth of the fire was lulling him into unconsciousness.

"Well look at what we have here," the sarcastic voice of Alice brought Peter back to earth and he opened his eyes sleepily. "Is this peace and quiet in the common room that I hear? Forgive me for having forgotten what that sounds like." She was standing with Dorcas, arms crossed over her chest and one thin eyebrow arched as she stared down at all of them passed out in chairs.

"If you don't like it Prewett, by all means go somewhere else," Sirius muttered.

"No," Alice instantly retorted. "You've got the best seats by the fire." She walked over to Peter and flapped her hand at him, urging him to move over.

He did, begrudgingly and she flopped down next to him.

"Marlene!" James had regained semi-consciousness and was shouting across the common room at Marlene who was sitting with Lily. "Why are your friends invading our space?"

"Charming," Alice grumbled as Dorcas sat down next to Remus, and Peter saw with amusement his obvious effort to wake up and engage her in conversation.

"I don't know!" Marlene shouted back at him. "Why don't you ask?"

"Sensible suggestion really, Potter," Alice smirked at the tired faces of James and Sirius. "If you don't like it you can always go somewhere else," she said, echoing Sirius's statement.

Sirius glared at her as Peter grinned. He did like Alice; her brusque attitude was quite often a nice refresher for him, someone to put Sirius and James in their places from time to time. She was always very nice to him and he got the impression that the girls often felt sorry for him. He didn't particularly mind, he knew that the other marauders valued him as much as they valued each other, he was comfortable being the quite one on the sidelines.

"You alright Peter?" Alice asked, leaning back obviously satisfied that she'd won the battle with James and Sirius. Peter knew that they were just too tired to argue with her.

Peter nodded sleepily. As much as he liked the Gryffindor girls, he never felt as comfortable talking around them as he did with the rest of the boys. Peter was shy, he knew that and everyone else did too – they seemed to have accepted it a long time ago and Peter remained happy, knowing that they didn't expect long answers to their questions.

"Good," Alice murmured, glancing over at Dorcas. Peter was now mostly awake so he noticed the little crease that had appeared on her forehead as she looked at her friend.

Peter shot a glance at what she was staring at and frowned himself, but this was in confusion. Dorcas was sitting next to Remus, chatting amiably with him, completely normal as far as Peter was concerned. However, that did explain the look of obvious displeasure on Alice's face.

"You don't like them together?" Peter whispered quietly so as not to be overheard by a snoring James in the chair next to him.

Alice jumped guiltily at being caught and turned to face him, realising that he had guessed what she was thinking. "No," she said brusquely then hesitated and studied Peter as if she was debating if he could be trusted. "I just don't want to see her hurt," she said finally, obviously deciding against telling him everything.

Peter shrugged. He thought that was perfectly reasonable – after all, Alice and Dorcas had been inseparable since second year and Remus didn't exactly have the best reputation for seeing relationships through to their end, even though Peter knew why that was, the girls didn't.

"I think they'd make a cute couple," Peter said quietly, watching as Dorcas laughed and Remus grinned at getting that reaction to whatever it was he'd said.

Alice made a non-committal noise in the back of her throat and Peter decided it would be safer for him to drop the subject, instead turning his attention to James who chose that moment to speak up.

"So, who's looking forward to Hogsmead this weekend?"

Sirius raised his head at this and nodded. "Oh yeah," he sighed, leaning his head on his palm. "I'm in dire need of a marauders trip out."

"I suppose we're still meeting the girls for drinks?" Remus asked hopefully.

"Yeah," James replied.

"What?" Sirius snapped. He was looking around with a horrified expression. "What? When was this decided?"

James opened his mouth but unfortunately, Alice got there first, "earlier today Black, sorry you missed out on the memo but you were probably busy sucking face with some blonde bimbo at the time."

Sirius shot her an incredibly dirty glare and retreated in a sulk.

"Did you hear about the fight we had to break up earlier?" Dorcas asked into the slightly tense silence that followed.

James, relieved, pounced on this new discussion. "Yeah, Mars told me what happened. Nath really gets on her nerves," he laughed like this was funny.

Peter frowned. "What happened?"

Dorcas turned to him, "we had to break up a load of Slytherin third years bullying two first years. The whole muggleborn thing is getting worse by the day."

Remus nodded, "Just yesterday I had to stop a fight in the corridor because Harris Thorne accused Robbie Smith of being a 'mudblood'." Remus grimaced at having to say that word out loud.

"I can't even walk down a corridor these days without being called a blood-traitor," Sirius said. "It's ridiculous how much blood status means to people."

Alice shifted in her seat. "You're one of the lucky ones," she said to Sirius, using an uncharacteristically quiet voice. "You and Potter can both be free to defy your pure-blood status."

"My family disowned me," Sirius said trying to sound offhand but still coming across defensive in Peter's opinion. "That's how much they care."

"And my whole family are about that far away from being declared as Blood-traitors," James added.

"Yes but at least you are both free to make your own decisions," Alice continued. "Take Marlene for example; her family refuse pick a side and have pressed their ideals onto her and Nath for years but she can't just pack up and leave like some people," she shot a pointed look at Sirius as she said that.

James gave a small smile. "Whatever Mars decides to do she can count on us to be there," he said stubbornly. "She'll make the right choice."

Sirius on the other hand was staring across the common room, and when Peter followed his gaze, he saw Marlene sitting with Lily at the table. Looking back at his friend, Peter saw that the expression on his face was anxious. Peter knew he cared enough about Marlene to be concerned that she might end up in a situation even remotely close to the one he'd been in himself. As much as the two of them fought, Peter knew Sirius wouldn't wish that on his worst enemy - well, except maybe Snape.

"You alright Pads?" he asked, realising too late that it might not be a good idea to draw attention to Sirius's completive mood.

Sirius shook himself and swiftly averted his gaze. "Yeah," he said. "It just sucks that we have to make these choices doesn't it? Family or moral beliefs."

While he agreed with him, Peter didn't really know how to reply to that statement. He had never had to choose – and knew he never would. His father had died just after Peter had been born and his mother was a quiet, loving parent who doted upon him. Peter himself was a Half-blood and he knew that meant he wouldn't be actively sought out by the purebloods that were beginning to mass under You-Know-Who, unless he outright declared himself part of the resistance.

"It's shit," James stated plainly. "But it's the world we live in and we won't be able to do anything about it for at least two years."

"Good thing too," Remus said quietly, voicing what Peter knew was the reasonable, yet not so popular opinion among his friends. "We haven't got enough knowledge yet."

"You sound like Lily," Alice grumbled. "Frank is completing his Auror training and he says its literally just street protests at the moment but so far, nobody's been hurt."

Peter thought that was a positive sign, until Sirius muttered darkly, "Not yet anyway."

Looking around, Peter saw the grim expressions on his friends faces and knew then that they were all convinced Sirius was right.

* * *

 **Hogsmead chapter next, I'll try and update as soon as I am able :)**

 **hope you enjoyed and if you review, the next chapter will be up faster - that's the deal guys**


	6. 18th September 1976

**UPDATE! Hey, thank you to those who reviewed!**

 **This is the second story I'm updating this week - I spoil you all too much aha. Anyway, this is the Hogsmead trip.**

 **As a footnote, if ever in doubt, read my statement at the beginning of chapter 1 - all I can say for now is _don't worry!_**

 **Hope you all ENJOY! :)**

 **Disclaimer - THIS IS NOT MINE! EXCEPT MAYBE PARTS OF THE PLOT... AND THE ODD CHARACTER... APART FROM THAT IT'S ALL JO'S Xx**

 **Lyrics - The Pretender, Foo Fighters**

 _ **Broken Glass**_

Chapter Six: 18th September 1976

 _"Keep you in the dark_

 _You know they all pretend."_

"You sure you don't want to change your mind about spending the day with Fabian?" Dorcas asked Marlene a breakfast. "You know; your _boyfriend_?" she looked down the table where Fabian was sitting, scowling at his empty plate.

Marlene cast a dismissive glance in that direction then ignored it, turning back to her cereal.

Dorcas exchanged a look with Alice, raising her eyebrows. Honestly, she had no idea why Marlene didn't just call it quits with Fabian – their relationship had been fucked since the summer if you asked her, and neither of them seemed to be willing to make an effort to work it out. Talking to Marlene about it though was pointless. Whenever the subject came up in conversation, so would Marlene's defences.

"You said that we had to meet the marauders for lunch?" Lily asked, bring up the subject she had been trying to dissuade them from doing since they'd informed her of the plan for today.

"Yes," Marlene said, not looking up from her paper. "And no, you aren't getting out of it lightly, Red – James has been really well behaved."

Lily slumped in her seat and Dorcas rubbed her shoulder sympathetically. She herself wasn't particularly looking forward to this afternoon. "We'll stick together Red," she whispered to Lily.

The redhead shot her a smile and a grateful look. The other night, Dorcas had opened up to her new friend about what had happened with Remus over the summer, realising that once she had started talking, she found she couldn't stop. Lily had sat there for nearly an hour listening in silence and Dorcas had found it incredibly therapeutic. It had led to an extra bond between the two of them that hadn't been there before. She was still quiet, and hadn't spoken to anyone about what had happened last year except Marlene, so far as Dorcas could tell, but she felt like the more she got to learn about Lily, the more she liked her.

Marlene looked up at the pair of them and her eyebrows shot up in speculation. "You seriously aren't worried about that are you Lily?"

Lily frowned and shrugged slightly. "No, I don't know. I just suppose it's because this'll be the first Hogsmead trip without Sever – I mean Snape." Her frown deepened as she contemplated this fact. "I'm not sure I want to jump in right at the deep end."

Marlene frowned then, and lowered her spoon back into the bowl. She turned to look at Dorcas.

Dorcas shrugged. "And I'm just a coward," she said lightly.

Alice snorted into her orange juice and Lily tried not to smile. Marlene sighed and turned back to Lily. "We'll only stay with them for a little while," she said thoughtfully. "Don't worry Red, Snape can't hurt you anymore."

"And if he tries," Alice cracked her knuckles threateningly," he'll have me to deal with."

Lily smiled at their rallying and glanced across the Great Hall to where Severus Snape was sitting at the end of the Slytherin table, head bent low over a book.

Dorcas thought the look she sent his way was almost mournful and she wondered if Alice's slightly violent outburst might have alarmed her more than comforted her. Whatever that look meant, Dorcas was sure it would come to nothing; Lily was too proud to forgive Snape and too smart to let him guilt trip her.

Almost as if she couldn't help it, Dorcas glanced sideways along the table to where the marauders were making the usual noise worthy of a Saturday morning. Sirius and James were both sitting opposite Peter, taking the micky out of him as he read a rather long letter.

"Look at all them kisses, Wormy!" Sirius crowed, pointing as he read the letter over his friend's shoulder. "She's a keeper!"

"Shut up," Peter said but he was laughing as he said it, face flushed with pride. The letter was obviously from his girlfriend in Australia, Dorcas thought. Her gaze shifted to the fourth member who was shaking his head at his friends' theatrics. Suddenly he looked down the table and straight at her. Their eyes met and Dorcas shifted her gaze quickly, feeling a warm flush creep into her cheeks.

"You alright Doe, you look kinda feverish," Alice said, chewing her toast and looking at her curiously.

Dorcas shifted so her hand went to the back of her neck. Her hand was mercifully cool and it allowed her to look up at her friends, all of whom were now staring at her, and nod. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Everyone else returned to what they had been doing but Alice narrowed her eyes at Dorcas and cast a suspicious glance down the table while Dorcas cursed inwardly at how well her friend knew her.

Luckily for her, Alice did know how to be subtle, only pursing her lips in disapproval but otherwise saying nothing. Lily on the other hand patted her hand, returning the sympathy Dorcas had given her a minute ago.

"Hey Mars!" James Potter yelled from down the table. "Come and see this!"

Dorcas looked over at Marlene who was squinting up the table at them with a doubtful face. Suddenly she glanced back over her shoulder at Fabian who was watching her carefully. Dorcas was slightly shocked to see the look of anger on his face as he watched her. Marlene got up and moved of down the table towards James without another word.

"Brilliant," Alice muttered, chucking down her toast and shaking her head in disapproval. "Is she really trying to fuck him off even more?"

"What's even going on with those two anyway?" Dorcas frowned as she watched Fabian get up and leave the hall with a dark thunder cloud hanging over his head.

"Fuck knows," Alice said. "But I think we need to get to Hogsmead and away from all the drama surrounding boys at the moment," he gaze lingered on Dorcas for a moment before she got up to go and fetch Marlene.

Dorcas sighed heavily and exchanged a look with Lily.

"Come on" Lily said, taking her am and pulling her up before linking their arms together so they could support each other. "Let's go before Ali hurts someone trying to drag Mars away from Potter.

 _"Keep you in the dark_

 _And so it all began."_

"What I don't understand is why didn't you just listen to McGonagall when she told us exactly what to do?" Nathan rubbed his fingers against his temples as Issy frowned down at him, arms folded across her chest, wavy ginger hair tied back as she prepared to leave the common room to make her way out to spend the day in Hogsmead. Nathan had just informed her that he was going because he had to start the essay McGonagall had set them that he knew for a fact, Issy had finished the day before.

"I had things on my mind," he muttered. "Can I please just borrow your notes?"

Issy relaxed slightly but still didn't unfold her arms. "What's going on with you Nath?" she asked, finally letting her arms drop to her sides and speaking in a much quieter voice. "You've come back from summer and it's like you aren't even here. Talk to me?"

Nathan stopped massaging his temples and looked up at her. He could tell her what had happened over the summer with his parents. About his father. About the letters. In truth, he had wanted to tell her on so many occasions. Out of all his friends, she was the person that he was closest to and they used to tell each other everything. Until now, now he just couldn't get the words out. Heck, he couldn't even talk to Marlene about it and she was his little sister, the only other person who knew exactly what he had gone through. She had other people to talk to though – like Black and Potter. Considering she had spent nearly half the summer with them, it wouldn't surprise Nathan if they both knew everything. But he couldn't tell his own friends. Sighing, he shook his head. Issy's face was open and pleading with him to tell her what was wrong but he couldn't. Saying it would make it too real, and Nathan didn't want it to be real.

"I'm fine," he said at last.

Issy's face fell and she let her shoulders drop. Then she sighed and reached into her back, pulling out a wad of notes. "There you go," she sighed. "Good luck, we'll see you later."

Nathan nodded, not looking at her as she turned and left the common room, leaving him the last person sitting there. It was peacefully quiet, the only noises were the crackling of the fire and the distant sound of the chatting students on their way to Hogsmead. Nathan lent back in his armchair, dropping the notes Issy had given him onto the table. He didn't regret not going with his friends, even though he knew they would be disappointed. They were becoming increasingly anxious about his behaviour the past few weeks they had been back at school. Nathan wasn't being anti-social, he just preferred solitude more nowadays. He didn't have to make any effort when he was on his own, with nobody to care about except himself.

Sighing, he reached into his pocket and drew out a bunch of letters. They were all addressed to him in a scribbly font that made Nathan feel nauseous to look at.

His friends might have left him alone for moments, but never long enough to do this.

None of the letters had been opened, but Nathan knew what they would contain; the usual bullshit niceties, the begging to be taken back, then, after a while of getting no replies, the threats. His father wasn't a subtle man, nor was he a patient one. That's why he knew what he was about to do was the right thing.

Moving forwards off his chair, Nathan knelt in front of the fire and, without hesitation, dropped the first one, dated back to the first day he'd come back to Hogwarts, into the flames. They licked at the parchment, hungry for more. Nathan let the second drop in as the first curled and blackened into nothing, continuing this until there was only one letter left. Nathan looked at it for a moment, for the first time hesitating. But it was only a momentary hesitation; he threw it in alongside the other eighteen letters that had already turned to ashes.

There would be more, his father was nothing if not determined, but they would all meet the same fate. He just hoped Marlene had had the sense to do the same.

 _"Send in your skeletons_

 _Sing as their bones go marching in, again."_

James sat in a booth with his friends in Carter's Bar and waited nervously.

"Why are you so fidgety?" Sirius scowled at him from the other side of the table.

James said nothing just shifted in his seat and took a rather large gulp of butterbeer, which ended up going down the wrong way, and he chocked.

He was coughing so loudly, as Remus thumped him on the back, and his eyes were watering so much that he didn't notice that the girls had arrived until he looked up, eyes streaming and saw Marlene standing next to Lily and laughing.

"Fuck," he swore quietly but apparently, they heard that as well because they all erupted into fresh laughter. James flushed bright red and drank some more butterbeer. When he looked up again, Alice had sat down next to him and Marlene had slid in beside Sirius while Dorcas and Lily had pulled chairs over to sit at the end of the table.

"You know, I don't think I've ever actually been in here before," Lily said, staring around.

"That's not that surprising," Alice replied. "After all, these tossers have claimed the place for the last three years."

James tried to look offended at her but she just laughed at him.

"Potter you've got foam all around your mouth," she told him.

James flushed again, mainly because Lily was now looking at him with an amused expression. "Thanks a lot Padfoot," he shot across the table.

Sirius shrugged. "I would've warned you," he said. "But it was already too late."

"Pathetic," Alice said, shaking her head.

James agreed with her. What kind of friends let you be embarrassed like that? He shook his head in mock disappointment and turned to Marlene, finally realising who was missing. "Where'd you leave Fab?"

Marlene glared at him but answered anyway, "He stayed at school."

"Boring," Sirius remarked abruptly but sent an apologetic look her way when Marlene shot him a dangerous glance.

"I thought Mary was going to meet us as well?" Peter asked from the corner.

"She's spending the day with Gid, they might pop in later." Marlene told him.

There was an awkward silence in which nobody seemed to know what to say. James felt many unspoken things in the air about him. Remus was sending Dorcas nervous glances, Peter just sat in the corner silently, there was some weird vibe between Sirius and Marlene whose shoulders were tensed like she was ready to make a dash for it, and James was finding it impossible to look in Lily's direction.

"So…" he trailed off as everyone turned their attention to his poor attempt on starting a conversation. Last minute, he bottled it. "Who wants a drink? It's on me."

Everyone nodded silently and James turned to get up. Alice sprang up as well. "I'll give you a hand," she announced, and James saw that she was as desperate to get away as he was.

"Well this is fun," James said as they waited by the bar for the drinks, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Alice didn't say anything, she just looked back towards the table and shrugged. "There's some weird vibes going around," she observed finally and James didn't disagree. His eyes fell on Lily and he swallowed nervously.

"Cat got your tongue, Potter?" Alice asked, jolting James out of his thoughts.

He turned to look at her and saw that she had followed his gaze to Lily and he blushed at the smirk on her face. "No," he said, trying to sound insulted. "Do people ever get tired of your constant sarcasm?"

"Probably," Alice said, still smirking at him in a way that made James feel very uncomfortable. "But they know better than to tell me that."

James grinned. He did really like Alice, she was brutal, yes but very honest. She told you upfront to your face exactly what she thought of you and James had to respect that. Begrudging respect, but respect all the same.

When they returned to the table, Marlene had moved so she was no longer sitting next to Sirius and was deep in conversation with Lily, which seemed to have allowed everyone else to relax slightly.

"So what did you get from Zonko's?" Alice asked as soon as they'd sat back down and handed everyone their drinks.

James sat back as Sirius grinned and patted the bag next to him, "Just a few bits and bobs really."

"Well if you need any help with any pranks..." Alice shrugged. "I'd be happy to help – it's really dull around the castle at the moment."

"Be careful what you wish for," Lily said. "Dullness is boring only when there's nothing going on."

James frowned. "But when its only light-hearted stuff," he said. "There's no harm in that is there?"

"I don't know Potter," Lily was looking right at him but her eyes held the edge of frostiness to them that James was so used to seeing. "You tell me."

"I'm going to the toilet," Sirius said as James opened his mouth to reply. "Before this becomes too hostile," he winked at James and then left.

James closed his mouth and shrugged, "I suppose if it's harmless then that's alright." He was aware of everyone watching him as he spoke but he only looked at Lily.

"It's so easy for you to say that Potter," she said and now she sounded defensive – angry almost. "But if you've really changed like everyone says you have, then do you admit that what you did last year was wrong?"

James felt his stomach drop and he heard Remus breathe in quickly and saw Alice and Dorcas shift uncomfortably in their seats. He cleared his throat, trying to keep a hold on his temper. "Evans," he said slowly. "What happened last year was a mistake, I'll admit. But none of us would _ever_ call you, or any other muggleborn, a you-know-what." James stared at her. He needed her to understand that he was being honest.

There was a tense silence, in which Lily stared at James, and everyone stared at Lily, waiting for her reaction. No doubt, waiting for the explosion that they were all so used too after interactions between the two. However, Lily looked round and blinked, seeming to realise that there were people waiting anxiously for her reaction.

The group at the table relaxed and James sighed in relief. He didn't feel like having a full blow-out with Lily today.

"I'm going to the loo," Marlene said briskly, getting up and squeezing past Alice. As she moved away, James heard her mutter, "Try not to kill each other while I'm gone."

He sighed. He had hoped that now Lily was no longer friends with Snape, they could get to know each other a bit more, maybe even become friends. He realised now however, that it was going to take a little more time before they reached that milestone.

 _"The need you buried deep_

 _The secrets that you keep are ever ready_

 _Are you ready?_ "

Sirius had just finished drying his hands with a towel when the door to the men's toilets opened and someone else entered. He had his back to the door but he saw in the reflection of the mirror, the unmistakable blonde hair of Marlene McKinnon. Spinning to face her, he saw her lock the door behind her and he raised his eyebrows. "Back for more are we?"

She scowled at him and shook her head. "Not at all Black, I need to speak to you."

Sirius smirked and walked towards her, "Sounds familiar McKinnon."

"I'm not joking Black." Marlene took a step away.

Sirius sighed and nodded behind her. "That locked door certainly speaks volumes don't you think?"

"I'm breaking up with Fabian."

This brought Sirius to an abrupt standstill and he swallowed as he digested that information. "You are?" he asked, all signs of flirtatious behaviour gone. He wondered what that would mean for him now. Would Marlene now expect something more? A relationship even, once it was a suitable amount of time after she'd broken up with Fabian. That gave him about three to four weeks in Marlene's case. Panic gripped him, he was not prepared to be tied down. True, he hadn't really been interested in other girls since the summer but that wasn't because of Marlene – it was due to the intense emotional experiences he'd been through, Marlene just understood that on a deeper level than any other girl, no one else had really been able to understand him since the summer... except her.

"Marlene..." he started to say, not sure what he was going to tell her but she got there before him.

"I'm not doing it for you," she said, face perfectly serious. "I'm doing it for me."

Sirius nodded, "Right, and you're not going to tell him about...us?"

Marlene scoffed, "Of course I'm not."

Sirius frowned, he still didn't understand why it felt like she was about to tell him something big.

Marlene drew in a shaky breath and looked down at her feet and Sirius knew that whatever it was, it was coming. "I've been feeling trapped Sirius," she said quietly. "I need to get out and to don't know any other way to do it."

Sirius opened his mouth to say something but once again, Marlene cut him off. "I'm ending it Sirius, this _thing_ that we have, it's over."

Sirius just stood there limply. Of all the things he'd expected her to say, it had not been this. He had expected her to ask if he wanted a relationship, or to continue what they were doing in secret. But not this. Whatever panic he'd felt at the idea of commitment with Marlene, it was nothing compared to the turmoil this statement had created in his stomach. All that came out of his mouth however was "oh."

"I need a fresh start," Marlene was continuing to talk but Sirius was hardly listening anymore. "With someone new or maybe just be on my own for a little while."

Sirius looked at her then, really looked at her, and that's when it hit him; she had no idea how much her words affected her. She thought it was just a game to him, nothing to bother spending much time brooding over. He guessed that it was understandable; it was the reputation he had created for himself, he supposed he might as well live up to it. "Right," he nodded, trying to look like he got it. "Whatever McKinnon, you go do your thing." He pushed past her towards the door, unlocking it and pulling it open. Just before he exited however, he turned to look back over his shoulder and before he could help it, the words were out of his mouth. "You were an alright shag McKinnon, but I've had better."

As soon as he'd said it he wished he could take it back. Marlene's face crumpled for just an instant before it hardened and she strode forwards, shoving past him with a muttered, "You weren't that good either Black."

Sirius watched her go, letting his shoulder's drop for a moment before slowly regaining his composure and walking back to his friends to find that the girls had already gone.

James was sitting at the table with his head drooping and his glasses almost sliding off his nose. Peter was patting his shoulder comfortingly while Remus was looking just as depressed as James was.

"What's wrong with you lot?" Sirius frowned as he stared down at his two best friends.

Peter rolled his eyes by way of explanation and James let out a loud, defeated sigh. "Women; why are they so confusing?"

Sirius took that to mean Lily wasn't speaking to him again and turned to Remus, raising an eyebrow.

Remus had his head propped up on one hand and was looking incredibly tired. "I think Dorcas is still pissed at me."

Sirius shook his head in wonder, "Blimey, that girl can hold a grudge."

"Well he did stand her up over summer, then tell her that, despite the fact he'd been suggesting otherwise all holidays, he didn't actually like her enough to ask her out properly," Peter said, shrugging.

Remus's head shot up, "That's not how it wen –"

The door to Carter's banged open and Mary raced in, out of breath with shopping bags swinging from both arms and pulling Gideon along behind her. "What did I miss?" she asked. Then she pulled to an abrupt stop, "Where is everyone?"

Sirius slid into the seat next to Remus, suddenly feeling as defeated as his friends looked. "You missed the party McDonald," he said.

Mary sighed. "Damn." Then she looked around at them all with a puzzled expression. "What's up with you all?"

Sirius raised his eyes to her. Her hair was bright blue today. Come to think of it, Sirius couldn't actually remember what her natural hair colour really was. Gideon was standing behind her, watching the scene unfold with a bemused expression.

Sirius dropped his gaze back to the table and muttered, quiet enough that Mary possibly wouldn't even hear him, "Women."

* * *

 **Hogsmead chapter next, I'll try and update as soon as I am able :)**

 **hope you enjoyed and if you review, the next chapter will be up faster - that's the deal guys**


	7. 23rd September 1976

**UPDATE!**

 **Not a lot to say about this chapter except that people are starting to grow suspicious of each other.. I can feel a storm coming...;)**

 **Hope you all ENJOY! :)**

 **Disclaimer - THIS IS NOT MINE! EXCEPT MAYBE PARTS OF THE PLOT... AND THE ODD CHARACTER... APART FROM THAT IT'S ALL JO'S Xx**

 **Lyrics - Tale from Black - Tunng**

 _ **Broken Glass**_

Chapter Seven: 23rd September 1976

 _She washes all the young blood from her hands in the sink,_

 _And she knows that the lights will be there for her._

Lily sat on the edge of her bed, waiting for Marlene to get ready. The other girls had already gone down to breakfast but Lily and Marlene had a free first lesson and Lily wanted to talk to Marlene. In fact, she had been trying to talk to her all week but there was always someone else around, especially since she'd broken up with Fabian, and that ad been two days ago now.

To be fair on him, he'd taken it quite well. Lily supposed he'd also known that their relationship was falling apart. He'd just nodded a couple of times while she spoke to him things Lily, who had been sitting across the other side of the common room with the girls, couldn't hear. Finally, he'd turned and walked away, up to his dormitories and Marlene had returned to them looking like she'd just had a weight lifted from her shoulders.

The other girls had asked her why she'd done it but Lily had just watched while Marlene had listed the many the reasons why. Lily suspected she knew the real reason though. Marlene had no idea, but Lily had seen her on the Hogsmead trip, slipping into the men's bathroom and lock the door. She also knew who had been in there at the time and she had been waiting for an opportunity to corner her friend about it all week. Now, it seemed like the prime moment but Lily wasn't sure how to start the particular conversation.

"Marlene," she said slowly, leaning against one of the wooden bedposts.

Marlene looked up from where she had been applying makeup in the mirror and turned. "Yeah?"

"Why did you really break things off with Fabian?"

Marlene frowned, "You know why, things weren't working out between us."

Lily nodded, she understood that this was the case. Nobody could say that they hadn't had a rough ride of it this past month but the answer didn't satisfy her. She wanted Marlene to tell her the truth. "But you could've worked it out, couldn't you?"

Marlene had turned back to the mirror but Lily could see her reflection in the glass. The expression was strained. "I don't think so Lily," she said quietly. "I think it was beyond repair."

Lily sighed, "What about Sirius?" she blurted, before she could help herself.

Marlene's shoulders instantly tensed and her face paled. She swallowed, obviously trying to pull herself together and continued putting on mascara. "What about Black?"

Lily looked down at the blanket beneath her and said quietly, "I know about you and him Mars."

Marlene jammed the mascara back into the bottle and turned to face Lily. "I don't know what you mean," she said, her chin stuck out stubbornly.

"Please, you don't have to pretend," Lily pleaded. "I saw you together, and it's pretty obvious when I spend any amount of time with you two." She met Marlene's eyes, begging her to understand that she only wanted to help her.

Marlene searched her face for a long time then sighed and her shoulders dropped. She moved across the room to sit next to Lily on the bed and looked down at her feet for a long time. Lily waited patiently for her to talk because she felt like Marlene would open up if she just let her gather her thoughts.

Finally, Marlene breathed out a long breath and looked up at Lily. "What you have to understand Lils, is that we've all got secrets here. Dorcas has, Alice has, Mary has and I have and I'm sure you do as well."

Lily swallowed.

Marlene sighed and tucked a strand of curly hair behind her ear. "The closer you come to us, the more secrets you might find out about, but that means you are in confidence. I'm begging you, as your friend, not to ask me about this."

Lily stared at her in silence for a while, not sure what to say. She wanted to say plenty of things, but they were all warnings; not to do it; not to get involved with Sirius Black; not to even go near him because anything to do with that particular person seemed to end up damaged. She wanted to beseech Marlene to have some sense and stay away from him.

But she couldn't say this to Marlene, because at the end of it all, she wanted Marlene to trust her and her friend was obviously desperate not to talk about it. So instead, she just swallowed her warnings, nodded and said quietly, "I won't. I promise."

Marlene smiled but it wasn't a happy smile, more of a relieved one. "Thank you," she said softly. Then her face cleared and she smiled properly. "Let's go and get some breakfast, I'm starving."

Lily blinked at her total change in demeanour but decided that it was probably a good thing. Maybe she had been wrong to let Marlene know that she'd found out about her secret but it was too late to go back now. besides, she knew that that sort of information was something she wouldn't be able to keep to herself forever and it might as be Marlene to whom she spilled her knowledge too, rather than someone like Fabian.

In the back of her mind, Lily knew that whether she was in on the secret or not, just the fact that she had found out said that it couldn't stay secret forever. and when it did come out, Marlene's reputation would entirely depend on what light it painted her in and Lily knew she would do everything in her power to make sure her friend wouldn't be totally damaged by it.

She grabbed her bag and together they headed down to breakfast, passing Peter and Sirius in the common room. Lily watched as Marlene glanced in Sirius direction, almost as if she didn't realise she was doing it then quickly look away. Sirius on the other hand didn't even acknowledge them although he must have known they were there because Peter sent them a little wave when he caught sight of them, face open and friendly.

Lily waved back automatically then chastised herself because despite the fact that Peter was actually very sweet, he was still a marauder and the marauders were the banes of her existence. She couldn't go around waving at them. In the back of her mind, she wondered where Severus was so she could go and find him to rant about how much she hated them, just to remind herself, but then, as soon as the thought popped into her head, she remembered and she sighed heavily. All the Marauder tolerance she was putting up with now that Severus wasn't around was making her soft.

 _Breaks down the bodies to dark subtle ink,_

 _And she scrawls on the parchments that hang in the air._

Remus flipped a page of 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' over and scanned it briefly before glancing up at Lily. They were in the Library studying for the upcoming Care of Magical Creatures test and the redhead in front of him was biting her fingernails, obviously worried about it.

"Don't worry," he said, trying to sound reassuring. "We'll get you good at this in no time."

Lily blinked, appearing to come out of her reverie. She looked at him with an odd expression then shook her head. "Sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind."

Remus raised an eyebrow quizzically. He couldn't help feeling curious as to what might make Lily so distracted from work. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Lily sighed and placed her head on her hands, looking down at the table. Remus closed the book in front of them so he gave her his full attention, sensing that she was about to spill.

"How do you know how to trust someone?" she asked, a small crease appearing between her eyebrows. "Like, if you know someone is hiding something, what do you do about it if you know it could hurt others involved?"

Remus felt his entire body turn to ice as he heard those words. Panic flashed through his brain and he swallowed, trying not to show that he suddenly felt very hot and flustered. "Um," he cleared his throat because he realised that Lily was waiting for him to reply to her question. Remus had no idea whether she had found something out about him and was trying to hint that she was onto him or whether it was entirely innocent and about something else completely. He wasn't going to take that risk.

"I think you should keep the person's secret," he said carefully, watching her facial expression very carefully for any sign that she might know. "If that person trusts you to keep it, you shouldn't betray their trust."

Lily hadn't been looking at him up until that point but now she raised her eyes to him and studied him. Remus prayed that she couldn't see the beads of sweat that had been developing on his forehead the longer the conversation stayed on this topic. Finally, she looked away and Remus breathed out in relief.

"Yeah," she sighed and slumped back in her seat. "I guess you're right."

Remus was now convinced that it hadn't been about him and he frowned, "Is everything alright Lily?" he asked. He didn't think he'd ever seen her look so confused so whatever it was that was the problem, it was definitely bothering her. So much she didn't seem able to focus on work.

Lily tried to smile but it came out as a sort of grimace. "I don't think you'd understand if I told you."

Remus lent back in his seat and half-smiled. "Try me."

Lily thought for a moment, quill twirling around her fingers as she frowned. "Say you had this friend, and they were quite a new friend and the friendship was still pretty rocky, and you found out that they were having a fling with someone else that you knew and knew was bad news. What would you do?"

Remus frowned, confused. He couldn't think of who Lily might be talking about. He guessed it was one of the other girls but he had no idea which one, maybe Mary? He lent forward on the desk, resting his chin on his hands. Lily was watching him carefully, frantically almost and it nearly made Remus smile.

"Well, I guess if your friend knows what they're doing then it's fine."

Lily grimaced. "What if that person has had a boyfriend while they were hooking up with someone else?"

This made Remus sit up straight, eyes widening in shock as it clicked in his head. "Marlene?"

He didn't have to listen to Lily's protests because watching the way her eyes opened wide in panic was confirmation enough. "Who's the guy?" Remus said slowly, already feeling curiosity creeping up on him. biting the inside of his cheek he shook his head even as Lily opened her mouth to reply. "No, don't tell me, it's her business." He paused as Lily closed her mouth again and watched him warily. "I would let her do what she thinks is best," he said slowly, knowing that Lily was still waiting for an answer on what she should do in her situation. "At the end of the day its none of our business. And besides," he added. "Everyone has secrets and they are entitled to them."

Lily leant back in her seat and dropped her quill onto the top of her parchment, not even noticing that it splattered the previously clean sheet, and smiled subtly, shaking her head.

"What are you shaking your head for?" Remus narrowed his eyes, convinced she was laughing at him.

"Nothing," Lily said quietly. "It's just Marlene said almost the exact same thing this morning."

Remus smiled to himself slightly but the news concerned him greatly. Marlene had always been relatively close to the marauders due to her closeness to James. Remus always thought of her as a kind of marauder by association; she helped quite a bit with their pranks and was usually around over the summer and winter breaks because she lived up the road from James. If she had been sneaking around with someone it had to have been going on for a while otherwise Lily wouldn't be so distraught over it. James was going to murder whoever it was and Remus would be surprised if Sirius didn't help out tearing limb from limb. He tried to think of who it might be; someone that Lily disapproved of. He grimaced; perhaps it was a Slytherin – in which case they were already dead.

 _"She rides a horse over stones in the night,_

 _And she closes her eyes and lets go of the reigns."_

Marlene sat in one of the window overlooking the grounds. It was one of the windowsills that was joined to the spiral staircase leading up to the Astronomy tower, and was her place of solitude. She had spent the whole morning desperately trying to find an excuse to leave on her own but everyone had spent break clustered around the fountain in the courtyard and it had been impossible to slip away. Marlene had felt Lily's eyes on her the whole morning and it was unbearable. Why hadn't she just explained to her that it was over between her and Sirius? She could have avoided this guilt completely by just telling her friend everything. Instead, she had to be all mysterious and now felt shit because of it.

She'd finally managed to get a break from Lily's green-eyed stare when she had Ancient Runes and Lily had a free period with Lupin, but that hadn't been any better. Talk of her break up with Fabian had spread through school like wildfire and she had to endure an hour of Travis Perkins grilling her about the next Hogsmead trip.

 _That had been a good thing about having a boyfriend._ Marlene thought with an edge of bitterness, as she picked the peeling paint off the walls with her nails. _There was a protection against the slime balls of the male race_.

"McKinnon."

Marlene twisted around, a frown already creasing her forehead before she even set eyes on the speaker. "Piss off Black," she snapped. He was the very last person she wanted to see right now.

"No," Sirius said and Marlene thought he sounded strange; there was a strange tension to his voice that she didn't recognise. "I need to talk to you."

Marlene turned away from him scoffing slightly, "Not interested, Black."

"You know you can be a right fucking hypocrite sometimes McKinnon." He was angry now, and those words stung slightly.

Marlene fixed him with a scowl and saw that he was glaring right back at her with an equal amount of irritation. "What is that supposed to mean?" she snapped.

Sirius just shook his head, turning away from her and for a moment, Marlene got her hopes up that he was going to leave it at that. Unfortunately, she was wrong. "I need to talk to you," he said, turning back towards her and taking a step forwards, invading her personal space.

Marlene swung her legs off the window ledge so he had to dodge backwards again to avoid being kicked in the shins, and looking up at him, "So, talk?"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back and letting out a loud sigh. Marlene was aware that he was nervous and that gave her a little kick of satisfaction. "We've been friends for a long time," he started.

Marlene scoffed slightly, "I don't know about 'friends' Black. We were never really that."

Sirius glared at her, "Whatever you want to call it McKinnon; we have _known_ each other a long time."

Marlene was silent, not disputing this fact.

"And I want you to reconsider what you said the other day in Hogsmead." Sirius's face was perfectly composed as he said this but Marlene spluttered.

"You want me to do what?" she glared at him, "After everything that's happened how can you ask me to do that? I broke up with Fabian for me Black, no one else."

A look of brief confusion passed over Sirius's face before it cleared and his eyes widened. "I didn't mean that part, I meant... I meant the part about us."

Marlene gaped, for a moment completely taken aback. She had thought that Sirius might try to convince her to change her mind but she hadn't thought he'd do it in this way; like he really meant it. "There is no _us_ , Sirius," she said quietly, trying not to let her confusion at this situation show on her face. "There never was." She stood up, intending to walk past him and escape, worried what she might say if she stayed here with him.

Sirius however, moved in front of her, blocking her way. "You don't believe that," he said. "You know there's still something there." He lifted his hands and placed them on her shoulders. "You and me, Mars; we're magnetic. No matter what you say, the pull will always be too strong for you to resist."

Marlene looked up and was caught by his eyes. They were the colour of a stormy sea and just as wild. Dangerous. "I can't do this Sirius," she whispered. "You aren't good for me."

Sirius didn't say a word, he just looked at her for a heartbeat longer then let his hands fall back to his sides, stepping out of her way so she could pass him.

Marlene did so as quickly as she could before she succumbed to those unbidden thoughts in the blackest part of her mind that told her to go back and throw herself at him, begging him to forgive her. She would not be a slave to that part of her mind.

"McKinnon," Sirius had turned and called out to her. Marlene nearly didn't turn around but at the last moment she stopped and looked back over her shoulder. Sirius was standing in the same spot with a strange smile that looked like he was twisting to make it look more realistic but actually looking like more of a grimace. "You know I didn't – I don't mean any of that. I made it up."

Marlene felt a swooping sensation in the pit of her stomach but she wasn't sure if it was sadness at his words or relief that he was making it so easy for her. "Well done," she said and her voice sounded a bit bitter, even to herself. "You could've fooled anyone."

She didn't wait to find out his reply – if at all there was one – instead turning and walking the rest of the way out of sight. When she was sure she was far enough away from him, she broke into a run.

 _"She knows the radios run through the night,_

 _And she knows that the lights leave the prettiest stains."_

Peter lay on his stomach, watching the marauders map carefully. "He's on his way back," he said aloud to Remus and James as he spotted Sirius's black dot on the parchment moving back towards Gryffindor Tower.

"Finally," James muttered, pulling shirts out of his trunk and throwing them onto the floor. "Maybe now we'll actually have a chance to ask him what the hell is up with him tonight."

Peter frowned and pointed his wand at the map, muttering, "Mischief managed," under his breath and watching all the ink fade away slowly. James had a point; Sirius had been grumpy all evening as they had sat in their usual seats in the common room and Remus and James had taken it in turns to try and beat Peter at chess. Peter prided himself as it was one of the one things that he was really good at and so far, none of the boys had beaten him. That didn't stop any of them from trying.

Remus sniffed and looked up from where he was sitting on his bed, back up against the headboard reading a book. "Don't push him too far Prongs," he said in a slightly strained voice. "It would be nice if we could all just get some rest tonight, I have a headache."

James put his hands up in surrender, "Alright! I wasn't going to say anything anyway!"

"Did he even mention what was wrong?" Peter asked, curiously, rolling over so he was sitting upwards and watching the door with a slight apprehensive feeling in his gut.

"No," James muttered, turning back to his trunk. "But then again he's been like this on and off for a while now." He stopped and looked up. "I reckon it's about a girl," he mused.

Peter let out a laugh that he tried to turn into a cough. "A girl?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "After everything Sirius has said about 'emotional attachments' you think he's moping over some bird?"

James shrugged, "What else could it be?"

"We've already agreed on the fact that Padfoot is a massive hypocrite," Remus piped up, not even tearing his eyes from the page he was devouring. "It wouldn't surprise me."

Peter snorted. It would definitely surprise him. The idea of Sirius with a girlfriend was a total alien concept to him, but perhaps that was because he had been witness to so many of his lectures on emotional attachment. Still, Peter didn't think that was the answer to this latest phase of irritableness that Sirius was going through. He didn't get the chance to voice this opinion however, because the door to their dormitories opened and the one in question walked in.

James stood up from his trunk, fixing Sirius with a steady look. "Where did you get off to?" he asked and Peter thought he was doing a good job at keeping his voice mellow.

"Nowhere," Sirius muttered, shaking his head and flopping down on his own bed.

Peter sighed and looked across at Remus who was now watching Sirius with a suspicious glare that Peter had absolutely no idea where it came from.

"C'mon mate," James said, an almost pleading edge to his voice. "If there's something bothering you, you know you can tell us right?"

Sirius hesitated, then sat up and looked James straight in the eye. "I know," he said, and Peter saw James relax instantly at this confirmation and knew that it was all he had wanted form his friend. A knowledge that Sirius knew he was there for him.

Peter glanced across at Remus and saw that he didn't look so convinced. However, he glanced across at Peter, who shook his head just a fraction; silently pleading him not to continue this conversation because he really didn't want to deal with the fallout that would ensue, and he sighed, instead turning to James and frowning. "James what exactly are you doing with all those clothes?"

Peter, glad that Remus had followed him in this, looked over at James as well. The contents of the trunk he had been rifling through was now scattered across the room, adding to the chaos of the already untidy space.

James looked down and bending, picked up a book that had been at the very bottom of the trunk. James grinned at it triumphantly and waved it in the air. "Found it," he said by way of explanation.

"Why were you looking for that?" Peter queried, raising an eyebrow. He didn't know James even owned books, let alone brought them to school with him.

"It's a spare copy of Advanced Defence," James said, "It's for Evans."

At this, even Sirius sat up and stared incredulously.

"Why does she need a spare copy?" Peter asked, pulling a face that attempted to demonstrate his confusion.

"More to the point; _since when do you even have a spare copy of a textbook_?" Sirius asked.

"Evans lost her own and I said she could use my spare instead of buying a new one," James explained, ignoring Sirius's question entirely.

"How decent of you," Remus muttered across the room.

Peter grinned, James was whipped well and proper and he didn't realise it; they weren't even going out and he would still do anything for the girl.

"I try to be," James said, looking unashamedly round at them all.

Peter's grin got wider and he pulled the covers off his bed and got in, before turning to his friend. "I'm rooting for you Prongs," he said as he settled down against his pillows.

James met his gaze and smiled, "Thanks mate," he said quietly and Peter knew he meant it.

* * *

 **hope you enjoyed and if you review, the next chapter will be up faster - that's the deal guys**


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